A Game of Jacks (Don't Be A Stranger)
by AlucardLovesSteakCakes
Summary: Shizuo discovers Izaya after he's been missing for a whole year, but he's changed, and not for the better. Something's wrong with him and Shizuo and the others are determined to find out what. However demons of the past come to Ikebukuro for revenge, and slowly reveal Izaya's disturbing past. Meanwhile, group of strange people step in to help-but they aren't exactly human...Shizaya
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I only own my ten Ocs

They were taken from my other stories and mixed into here. They had NOTHING to do with the other stories. NOTHING.

Please support and enjoy! I want to keep this one going-I tend to start things and then give up so I don't want to lose this!

* * *

Celt stared out the window of Shinra's apartment, overlooking the midnight city of Ikebukuro. Her brown eyes were distant as she looked down at something far away. She had received her head over a year ago when Izaya mysteriously disappeared. He mailed it to her with a letter of explanation. She was angry at first, but then decided to let it go. He _did _give it back to her, after all. He even wrote an apology letter.

Shinra walked into the living room with two cups of tea, "My beloved Celty! I brought you some tea!" She didn't move. "Celty?"

"There's something out there. Something that isn't human."

Shinra gulped, "Then what is it?"

Celty's voice was solemn, "Something evil."

* * *

"Tom! For the last time! We. Are. Lost!"

"We're _not _lost! I told you, I know this city like the back of my hand! Anyway, I thought you knew Ikebukuro pretty well?"

"But not the _Underground_! I've only been here like twice! And that was only because I was chasing that little shit!"

"You mean Izaya? I wonder what happened to him? I mean, did he die? His sisters are still here and they don't know where he is either..."

"He disappeared over a year ago...it's old news...

"Fine-wait? Hah! Found it! Heh, told you we weren't lost!"

Shizuo and Tom were sent to collect money from some man named Ian, who supposedly was going to be in "a large brick warehouse with a purple roof in the West area of the Underground. You can't miss it". Obviously you can. It was wedged between an old plane hanger and an abandoned enormous green storage trailer. The only entrance was in the incredibly narrow gap between the storage building.

Shizuo grimaced as they picked their way through garbage. He noticed that the only light came from flickering dull lamps spaced along the brick wall and that the trailer was covered in graffiti. There was a large dark stain on it but, due to the lack of good light, he couldn't see was color it was. He wasn't sure he wanted to.

"Here it is."

Tom led Shizuo to an old metal door in the brick wall. The trash can next to it had a rat on it. The blonde wrinkled his nose, _gross, smells like rotting meat and nachos. I hope I didn't step in anything._

The door suddenly swung open with an ear-splitting screech and a drunkard with two hookers on his arms stumbled out. The duo had to press against the side of the building to let them pass. Shizuo was sure he stepped in something squishy that time.

The open door let loose the sounds of blaring rap music, cheering, and what was probably the sounds of two people fighting. Shizuo and Tom made their way inside and the former couldn't help but cover his ears at the sheer volume. It really was a huge building, with a boxing ring in the center and bleachers and speakers around it. The room had a high ceiling and the brick walls were just as messy as they were on the outside-just clustered with flat screens playing football game reruns. Tom had to shout for Shizuo hear him. They pushed themselves past cheering onlookers to get to the less crowded back of the ring. It was where the "head honchos" would be.

There was a young woman with chopped clearly japanese black hair to her chin who was furiously trying to climb into the ring while screaming obscenities at one of the fighters. Her skin was fair and she wore white sneakers, thigh high pink and orange striped socks, black shorts, and an average white tank top. A young man with long black hair tied back into a high ponytail was comically trying to pull her back. His clothes were the definition of baggy. He was obviously thin and his fair skin stood out in comparison to his dark blue sweatpants and jacket. He wore white sneakers and a light gray T-shirt. The two of them both had the same slate gray eyes.

"Stop sis! It was a fluke!"

"LIKE HELL IT WAS! HE DID IT ON PURPOSE! HE CHEATED! THAT LITTLE SHIT I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM! LET ME TEACH HIM A LESSON!

The other people were seated at two large round wooden tables, and Shizuo noticed that this was the only area of the whole building that was covered in plush blue carpet. There was a fair skinned young woman with bright red hair in a high pony tail with red eyes who was chatting casually with the woman beside her. She wore the same tank top as the girl who, by now, was wrestling on the floor with the young man who had tried to stop her. It was clearly a one-sided battle. The red-head had on green cargo pants and black sneakers.

The woman she was talking to looked to be around Shizuo's age (the other's did too, but she seemed slightly older in appearance).She had dark brown eyes and straight chest-length black hair that cascaded over the front of her unzipped brown trench coat. Pale skin contrasted sharply with her black V-neck shirt and shredded dark blue jeans. Black combat boots and black leather gloves finished the ensemble. She was sipping a bright red drink from a straw stabbed into a styrofoam cup. While the red-head was talking animatedly she only nodded her head occasionally.

Two other women sat at the table. A petite japanese girl with long black cropped hair was asleep with her head in her arms as she rested on the table. She wore an oversized pink floral kimono and traditional wooden sandals. She had a pink flower in her hair. The other was a girl with jet back hair that reached her waist, fair skin, freckles, and sky blue eyes. She wore a plain black T-shirt, bright green skinny jeans, and black flats. She was playing solitaire and was eating something that looked like jerky.

On the other table sat two men. One of them looked to be in his early thirties with messy black hair that reached his shoulders. His face was that of a regal man-with a squared jaw and piercing dark blue eyes. His skin was a shade lighter than fair and he had stubble. His shoulders were broad and he wore a white button down shirt, black slacks, and dark brown dress shoes. The other man was in his mid twenties and had messy light brown short hair, matching eyes and sun tanned skin. He was not overly muscular but in no way was he lanky. He was wearing a brown short-sleeved shirt, dark green cargo pants, and black sneakers. The two men were laughing about something, and the black-haired one was holding a cigarette between his fingers.

"Excuse me?" Tom walked towards the younger man with a faux smile. Shizuo followed behind and kept watch to make sure nothing went wrong, and if it did...well, he wasn't called the strongest man in Ikebukuro for nothing. The man looked up from his conversation and smiled, "Yes? What can I do for you?" Shizuo took a moment to realize that the smile was genuine. _Weird...I thought he was going to be an asshole like they usually are..._

"Yes, are you Ian?"

"Yes. Is something the ma-oh! You must be the debt collectors! Okay, one second. Marie!"

Shizuo blinked, _well that was easy..._The girl put down her cards and turned around, "Yeah?" Ian motioned the duo, "They're the debt collectors, do you have the money I gave you?" The girl paused for a moment and then pulled out a pink wallet from her back pocket, "Yeah, her ya go!" She tossed it over and Ian caught it easily. He opened it and pulled out the money owed. While Tom counted it Shizuo looked back at the boxing ring, he wasn't really interested. Just bored.

"Who's fighting?"

Ian smiled and threw the wallet back at Maire, "Oh, some random guy and Maria."

"Maria? As in, a woman?"

Ian chuckled and lit a cigarette, "Yeah, that's my fiancé for ya. See, I forgot to give her a present for our anniversary-even though I gave her a card and stuff- so I decided to let her blow off steam by beating up someone _other _than me."

Tom lit his own cancer stick, "She gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, she'll be fine. She likes these kinds of things. Always been a fighter, my Maria."

Shizuo walked over to the cords to get a better look, and his eyes widened. A pale skinned young woman with purely white hair that reached her mid back-who was dressed in a white long sleeve V-neck, white skinny jeans, and white sneakers-was duking it out with a burley man twice her size. She was clearly agile as she seemed to blur around the man, easily evading every punch he threw. With a sharp uppercut she sent the man sprawling to the floor. Tom gaped, "She's strong!" Ian laughed and tilted back his chair to cross his feet on the table, "Not really, she's just quick on her feet." When the two were ready to leave Ian shouted out to them, "Hey! If you see a man sitting outside could you tell him that I have some food for him?! His name's Vincent!"

As Tom and Shizuo exited the warehouse, they concluded that tonight was one of their more "peaceful" jobs. Shizuo tapped Tom on the shoulder and pointed at a man who was sitting directly in front of the door, bathed in shadow, eating something that Shizuo couldn't see due to the lack of light. "Hey?" Tom prodded the man's black combat boots with his own shoe, "Are you Vincent?" The man put down what he was eating and wiped what looked like sauce from his mouth with the back of the sleeve. "Who wants to know?" Shizuo cleared his throat, "Ian said he wanted us to tell you that he has some food for you." The man let out a groan and wrapped whatever he had been eating in a wrapper and shoved it in the pocket of his black leather trench coat. "And I didn't even get to finish what I was _already _eating! What the hell? I'm not some kind of garbage disposal!" the man grumbled as he stepped out of the shadows. He wore a trench coat, a dark gray shirt, and a pair of combat boots. Around his neck was a faded dark blue bandana. His eyes were dark brown, his black hair was ratty and hung just below a 5 o'clock shadowed chin. He thanked Shizuo with a clap on the shoulder and then shuffled inside with a faint limp-the door closing with a bang.

* * *

Shizuo parted with Tom just before they official left the Underground. The Underground was a term used to describe the part of Ikebukuro that was basically the center of crime. It was rundown and mostly abandoned besides for the gangs and occasional clubs. Homeless people liked to hand around there too. Which was why Shizuo paid no mind to the man slumped beside the garbage can when he passed through a dimly lit alley on the way back to the better side of town.

Until the man spoke.

"Shizuo Heiwajima?"

It was weary and raspy, but he knew that voice all too well.

"Izaya?"

His hair had grown out to around his shoulders; ratty and wild. His trademark fur-trimmed jacket was nowhere to be seen-instead replaced with a black cotton trench coat that was worn at the bottom. He wore baggy black pants and a black long sleeve T-shirt. His black boots were scuffed and one of the soles was falling apart. He had black leather gloves on his hands and the skin peeking out from beneath the sleeves showed pale skin. His face was thinner, he looked hungry-but not starving. There were dark circles under his eyes, eyes that were no longer held a spark-instead they were dull.

He had the eyes of a dead man.

"You...look like shit."

Izaya let out a raspy chuckle that escalated into a fit of coughs, he looked at his glove that he covered his mouth with and grimaced before wiping whatever it was on his pants. He looked up at Shizuo and smiled weakly, "First time we meet in over a year and the first you say is that I look like shit? Wow, you always _were _a charmer, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo tried acting calm by pulling out a cancer stick and lighting it, "Well, it's true."

Another laugh/cough, "I guess you're right."

He pulled the cigarette away and watched the smoke trail up into the air from his mouth.

"So, where'd you go?"

Izaya shrugged and leaned to the side as he reached into his pocket for something, "You know, here and there. Hey, can I get a light?"

Shizuo blinked down at the man who was holding out his own cigarette.

"Didn't know you smoked."

Izaya shrugged again, "Things change."

The blonde sighed and lit the cancer stick with a huff. He noticed the box that it came from sticking out of the raven's pocket. He didn't recognize the brand. The writing looked Russian.

"Why aren't you attacking me?"

He blinked and looked down at Izaya, "Because you're obviously in no condition to fight. It wouldn't be a fair match...it wouldn't be a contest."

The raven shrugged and took a long drag, "You're right...no contest at all..."

There was a pause.

"How are my sisters doing?"

Shizuo paused at that.

"There...doing fine, I guess. They miss you, you know. They want their big brother back."

Izaya stubbed out his cigarette on the sole of his boot flicked it away. He used the garbage can for leverage as he struggled to stand; Shizuo noticed that he had grown an inch.

"That's good...but I'm afraid they can't have me...I can't stay here."

Shizuo furrowed his brown and doused his own cigarette, "Where are you going?"

Izaya turned and slowly walked back down the way that Shizuo had came. The blonde noted that the man seemed smaller, somehow. He was hunched over and his right leg dragged slightly with a limp.

"Aw, miss me? And here I thought you hated me. Guess I was wrong."

"Not a chance flea! Nothing's changed! Stay out of Ikebukuro!" He called after the retreating shadow.

"On the contrary Shizu-chan...", the raven rounded the corner and yet his voice was still clear, "..._everything's_ changed."

* * *

Shizuo sighed and threw his glasses and tie on the couch. "Fucking flea. What the hell does he think he's doing by showing up like that? At least look a bit decent, slob." He dropped the house keys on the table and padded over in his socks to his kitchen to get some tea. Just when he was about to get his tea kettle, his cellphone rang.

_ha ha he he to the funny farm where life is-_

"Hello, Shinra."

_"Hey Shizuo, it's Celty-Shinra get away from my ass or I'll break your nose-how are you?"_

"Fine. Why, what's wrong?"

_"Nothing, I just-GODAMMIT SHINRA-I just had this bad feeling...are you sure everything's okay? Nothing new happen?"_

"Well...Izaya came back."

_"HE WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW IS HE?! WHERE'D HE GO?!"_

Shizuo winced at her volume, "Well, for starters, I found him in an alleyway. He looked like shit, too. His hair grew out."

_"I don't really care about his hair Shizuo."_

"Well you should see it. B'out down to his shoulders now. 's kinda freaking looking."

_"How long is he staying?"_

"Actually, he said he had to leave again."

_"Why?! Where'd he go, anyway?!"_

"He didn't specify."

_"Well, if you see him again will you tell us?"_

"Of course."

_"Well, I gotta go, okay? Shinra's-"_

Shizuo let out a chuckle when the call abruptly cut off. Skipping the tea entirely, he decided to go get changed into something more suitable for three in the morning.

Shizuo froze when he looked in the mirror over his shoulder.

"What the?"

Where Vincent had touched his shoulder, there was a bloody handprint.

* * *

Shinra had just finished washing the dishes when Shizuo knocked on the door.

They currently stood in the living room and Shinra was staring at Shizuo oddly.

"Shizuo...why aren't you wearing a shirt?"

The fake blonde flushed and instantly grabbed a blanket from Shinra's couch and wrapped it around him like a shawl.

"...that was Celty's..."

"Whatever, I didn't have time to change, okay?"

"...Why?"

"Because I need you to look at that!"

"...You need me to look at your shirt..."

"No you idiot! Turn it over!"

"Why is there a bloody hand print on your shirt?"

"I was thinking you could DNA analyse the blood to find out who it belongs to. I was on a job with Tom in the underground and some guy named Vincent touched my shoulder. When I came home I saw the blood, and, well..."

"...and yet you still couldn't put on a clean shirt?"

The smash of a teacup startled them. Shinra whiped around towards the kitchen to see Celty standing in the doorway with a look of horror on her face. Before he could even ask what was wrong, she had run over and snatch the shirt from his hands.

"Wh-Where did this come from?!"

"Wha-"

"This reaks of evil!"

"Okay...Celty, I love you and all...but you sound really stupid..."

"Shut up Shizuo! This-Gahh!"

She ran a hand through her hair and paced back in forth in her pink pajamas.

"I _knew _something was off! I knew it! What happened?"

Just as Shizuo started to explain, there was a crash and suddenly there was the sickening sound of nails on a wooden door. Whoever was on the other side was raking their nails frantically against the door and seemed to be kicking the door, due to all the banging sounds.

Shinra hesitated before turning the knob.

Suddenly there was a black blur and Izaya flung himself into the room and immediately slammed his back on the door to close it. The apartment was silent save for the wheezy gasps of the informant as he slowly slid down the door. Shizuo's eyes widened when he saw the raven's back leave a trail of blood on the door as he slid to the floor. Izaya had a hand clutching his right eye and another wrapped around his middle. He looked up at the trio with a shaky laugh. There was a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth and there was blood _pouring _from beneath the fingers covering his eyes. He had to catch his breath between words.

"Heh...it's funny...I've never...been one to...lose things...but it seems...I've lost...an eye...Shizuo..."

* * *

Read and review! Please! Tell me what you think! Bonus points to whoever knows Shinra's ringtone.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I only own my 10 ocs

"blah blah"- speech

blah blah- normal

_blah blah_- thoughts or a phone call

**"blah blah"**- spoken in unison

* * *

Shizuo felt like throwing up at the raven's words. He was practically _singing _it. And smiling about it too! Who the fuck smiles when they lose an eye! Just-_no_! You just don't do that! The fake blonde was jolted from his shock when Izaya let out a gurgled gasp and blood began to seep from a hidden wound in his side. Shinra's wood floor and door were covered in blood and Celty had already run to the bathroom to get towels to stop the bleeding.

Shinra snapped into doctor mode, "Shizuo! Help me carry him into the other room so I can stich him up! Celty can you-oh good you've already got the towels."

* * *

"Well, he's going to live but..."

"But what?"

"You know Shizuo, I thought you hated him."

"I do. I'm just curious."

"Well, he was right when he said he lost an eye, his right eye was completely gouged out. Three of his ribs are broken, he had several lacerations on his forearms and legs, and had a gash on the right side of his abdomen. He has internal bleeding and numerous bruises. His right leg was mangaled, but it seems to be an older wound-the rest are fresh. All in all, he's in pretty bad shape."

Shizuo bit his lip, he wasn't sure what he was feeling. When Shinra was listing off Izaya's wounds Shizuo could help the strange cold feeling in his gut. _What the hell am I doing? I don't care about him-not at all, I hate him! But, I can't help but feel bad for him...I mean, he lost an eye...that had to hurt...gouged out...my God."_

"I gave him some painkillers and stiched him up, he's sleeping it off now." Shinra paused and looked at Shizuo with something he couldn't tell swirling in his eyes, "You can...go check on him, if you want..." Shizuo scoffed, "Like I care." Shinra smiled when the fake blonde moved passed him into the room where Izaya was anyway. He winked at Celty who was lounging on the couch.

"Moron."

"You love me for it."

"..."

* * *

He looks so broken, was all that Shizuo could think at the moment. He stood over Izaya's still form that was snuggled safely under cotton sheets. Without realizing it, Shizuo had reached down and brushed a lock of raven hair away from izaya's face, and grimaced at the white square medical eye patch. "Shit, flea. Whoever did this to you sure got you good..." He froze when Izaya cracked his visible eye open with a groan. Shizuo recoiled his hand as if he'd been bitten, but stayed where he was. He watched the now dull red eye try to focus through the intoxication of the painkillers.

"W-Where...am...I...?"

"You're at Shinra's, remember?"

"...not really...hurt too much..."

Shizuo winced, "That's expected...I mean, just look at you. You're all banged up."

Izaya licked his lip and for some reason Shizuo shivered.

"...my right eye...is it gone?"

A pause.

"Yeah..."

"Ah..."

"...How'd you lose it...anyway...?"

"...ha ha...didn't think you...cared...Shizu-chan..."

Shizuo frowned, Izaya's breathing was labored.

"I dont. I'm just curious."

"I...ed it...f."

"What?"

"I said I...ouged...lf"

"Dammit flea, speak up!"

"I gouged it out myself"

* * *

_Meanwhile, in the Underground_

The warehouse had long ago cleared out, leaving the ring and bleechers bare, the only light coming from the large bright lights above and from the dimming Tvs. Ian stacked the last table and sighed. He looked back at the other nine occupants.

A red haired woman was playing cards with a girl in green skinny jeans, a white haired woman, a raven haired asian girl in a pink kimono, a woman in a brown trench coat, and a woman in pink and orange thigh high socks. They were seated in the middle of the boxing ring, another group of people sitting a small ways off, where a young man in sweats, another in a white dress shirt, and a man with a faded blue bandana were smoking.

"Alright you guys!" he called, clapping his hands loudly to get their attention, "We made enough money to finally buy what we've been saving up for!"

The group clapped feebly and he frowned, "Oh c'mon, you guys! Don't be like that! This'll be good for us! Safer!"

The white haired woman rolled vermillion eyes, "Ian, honey, I love you, but you need to realize that we're not safe _anywere."_

Marie let out a groan and slapped down her cards down with a huff, "Dammit! I lost! Miyuki I swear you cheated!" The asian covered her snicker with her sleeve and spoke softly, "I did no such thing, you're just a bad card player. Dolores agrees with me, right?" The woman in the brown trench coat shrugged, "She's not as bad as Verona." The red head let out a cry of outrage, "I do _not _suck at cards! At least I don't cheat like Rachel!" The girl in the thigh high socks laughed loudly, "Can you prove it?" The boy in sweats came behind her and knelt down to pat her on the shoulder, "Sis. You hide aces in your socks." Rachel suddenly elbowed him violently in the gut with a calm face, "Buck, shut your mouth." Buck groaned and clutch his stomach in pain.

Vincent chuckled and turned to his smoking friend, "What a pain, Victor." Said man sighed and helped the other to his feet. "We're stuck with them, so no complaining." Ian rolled his eyes and flipped the light switch, resulting in swearing and crashing as his friends stumbed and tripped over each other.

"That's enough you guys. Let's go buy that van."

* * *

Shinra froze in the doorway to Izaya's room. "You what?" Shizuo rasped, eyes wide. Izaya's remaining eye closed with a sigh, "You wouldn't understand..." Shizuo shook his head, "UNDERSTAND WHAT?! THAT YOU'RE INSANE?! WHO THE HELL DOES THAT TO THEMSELVES?!" Shinra winced at the blonde's roar and turned to look at Celty who was trembling behind him. "H-He...did it himself?"

Izaya glared at him with his good eye, "_Shut up_. You don't know anything."

"What's there to know?! Why the hell would you gouge out your own eye?!"

The raven shook his head, "I told you...you wouldn't understand-!" He suddenly jerked into a sitting position and clutched his stomach. "Shit!" he ground out between clenched teeth, "Not again-nngh!" Shizuo put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to push him back down, "You're stiches are probably opening." At that Izaya suddenly seemed to explode, "THAT'S NOT IT YOU IMBECILE! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! DON'T TOUCH ME!" he violently yanked himself from the blonde's grip and attempted to get out of the bed from the other side, "Just leave me alone!" Shinra gasped, "You need to rest! You can't be walking around in your condition!"

Izaya winced when his bare feet touched the cold marble floor, "Shut up, Shinra. You don't know anything. I'm leaving."

"LIke hell you are!" Shizuo roughly grabbed the raven's arms and dragged him back on the bed. He was shocked at the man's strength, injured as he was he still managed to violently put up a struggle. Shizuo was still stronger than the man, obviously, no matter his state of health. He effectively pinned the man to the bed by his wrists and suddenly froze. The raven's eye was wide in what could only be fear. The blonde could feel the man's body tremble beneathe his grip, and he watched his mouth worked soundlessly.

"...ge..y..."

"I-Izaya?"

"Get...ay...me"

"Oi-Shinra get something to-"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Before anyone could react, Izaya suddenly launched off the bed with his hands around Shizuo's throat, and had slammed the blonde against the wall. Shizuo gasped for air,_ i-impossible! H-He's as strong as me!_ He let out a choked gurgled and stared into the eye of the man slowly killing him.

Insanity.

Pure, unfilltered, insanity.

Izaya's mouth was twisted in something between a grin and a smirk, a strange noise emitting from his throat that sounded like a demented giggle.

"I-Izaya!"

Izaya's eyes widened at Shizuo's gasp and his grip went slack, Shizuo crashing to the floor. Shinra rushed to the coughing blonde's side while Celty eyed Izaya warily. He was slouched slightly with one hand on the wall supporting him and the other over his missing eye. His good eye was wide and his body was trembling. "No..." his voice was a whisper of fear, "It...it's too early...too early to..." He turned shakily to Shizuo.

Brown met burgundy.

Izaya screamed.

* * *

Rachel frowned and fold her arms, "No."

Verona copied, "Not a chance."

Miyuki frowned,"It's..."

Marie finished, "...Ugly."

Dolores nodded, "And filthy."

Maria glared at her fiance, "Are you insane? This is a piece of shit! Why would you spend our money on this piece of-"

Vincent finished for her, "-crap."

Victor nodded, "You have bad taste my friend.", he clapped Ian on the back.

Buck rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he circled the large used white van. He nodded, "Just as I thought, junk."

"I HATE ALL OF YOU!"

* * *

"Well, the DNA scans on the blood stain are going through, though it'll take a while to process. I also gave Izaya enough tranquilizers to knock him out for a while." Shizuo nodded and leaned back into the couch cushions, "What the hell is going on here?"

Celty padded back in forth in front of Izaya's closed door, deep in thought. Shinra sat next Shizuo on his blue couch with a cup of coffee in his hands.

Celty suddenly froze, "Oh my God."

Shinra lifted his head lazily off the couch-it was seven in the morning now, and he hadn't slept all night. "What is it?"

"I know what's wrong."

Shizuo bolted awake immediately.

"Well, I kinda have a hunch...on a least why he freaked out when you touched him..."

"What is it? What's wrong with him?"

"...Well...I don't know any other way to say this but...Shinra...did you check Izaya for sexual assault?"

The room suddenly went unusually quiet. Shizuo's blood had run cold. Eyes wide and cigarette carton having unceremoniously slipped from his fingers onto the floor, Shizuo's blood had run cold. _N-No...no way! There's no way that he could have been raped...but his face when I pinned him...and his reaction...it makes...no, no way...it can't be...it just can't be..._

Shinra cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, "N-No I didn't check for rape but by the amount of bruises anything is possible...I'd have to check to be sure."

Celty sighed and looked back at the closed door with worry clear in her eyes, "Oh, Izaya...what has the world done to you?"

* * *

"OH MY GOD! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOIN-AHHHHH! WATCH OUT FOR THE OLD LADY!" Rachel all but shrieked as the van zoomed down the morning streets of Ikebukuro. Ian was driving while Victor looked on the verge of dry heaving in the passenger seat. The van only had two seats-the back had a single old mattress crammed in it, where eight _very _carsick people were currently being jerked around. Maria looked livid, Buck had passed out and was bouncing around comically, Vincent was now the center of a "tackle hug" by every girl...not that he was complaining...

Victor dug his nails into the seats, "IS IT EVEN LEGAL TO HAVE THIS MANY PEOPLE IN A VAN?!

Ian cackled and slammed on the gas, "WHO CARES?! THIS IS AWESOME!"

**"NO IT'S NOT!"**

* * *

_Somewhere in Russia_

"That little shit! He got away!"

"S-Sorry Sir! He escaped without our knowledge."

"Find him!"

"Y-Yes Sir!"

"Izaya Orihara...this I swear...I will make you suffer...I will make you suffer again..."

* * *

Shizuo groaned and ran a hand through his hair, _dammit..._

Celty had been right when she said that Izaya might have been raped.

He had been.

_Repeatedly_.

The worst part about it was the scars that Shinra found...

_"D-Due to all the blood before I wasn't able to see them-they're most likely very old due to the fading color-"_

_"What the hell are you talking about Shinra?"_

_"Well...for starters it seems that in the past Izaya used to cut his wrists...but that's not all...Shizuo...he has scars_ everywhere_-no wonder he always wears pants and long sleeves! I mean 70% of his body is covered in scars! They aren't even normal ones! Some look like they were made by knives-others by barbed wire! Whatever Izaya's life was like in the past...it wasn't pretty...made me realize that even though we've all known him for so long...we know nothing about who he really is..."_

A loud crash averted the bartender's attention to his window.

You know that awkward moment when you see a van tipped over on the sidewalk, a man crying comically in front of it, eight people puking in the grass around him, and an unconscious man buried in a bush with his legs stickng out? No? Well, it was something new to Shizuo too, so don't feel bad.

* * *

_I'm sorry_

_"STOP!"_

_I'm sorry_

_"NO! LET HER GO!_

_I'm sorry_

_"STOP IT!"_

_I'm sorry_

_"KANRA!"_

Izaya bolted up in the bed with a gasp. He gripped the sheets so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. He ran a hand through his longer hair and grimaced when he found it was damp with sweat. He gripped his head with a moan when he was suddenly bombarded with a dull headache.

"Ah~you're awake!"

Izaya glared with his single eye at the peppy "doctor","Shut up...m' head hurts."

Shinra bobbed his head and opened the curtains, letting in a blast of sunlight, making the raven yelp.

"Yes, well, that's to be expected from the amount of sleeping pills, pain killers, and tranquilizers I slipped you the other day."

"What am I? A giraffe? Don't go giving me tranquilzers! You're not going hunting!"

"Ah, ah, ah-your headache, remember?"

"Grrr..."

* * *

"A-Are you okay?"

Due to the fact that Shizuo actually had a _moral _upbringing, he had run outside to help.

He severly regretted his decision.

After righting the completely totalled van, he realized that the man crying over it was no other than the man he met with Tom the other night at the boxing warehouse. _What was his name again...Ian? Yeah, that was it...and that white haired woman over there was...Maria? And the girl in the green skinny jeans was Marie! Yeah! That's right..._

Ian was about to answer him when he was suddenly barreled over by his fiance. Maria straddled his waist and proceed to choke him.

"GOD DAMMIT IAN! YOU ALMOST GOT US KILLED! YOU AND YOUR GODDAMN VAN FETISHES! I TOLD YOU IT WAS A PIECE OF SHIT!'

"M-Maria I-I ca-can't b-breathe!"

"I DON'T CARE!"

Shizuo was feeling incredibly awkward just standing there. He looked over to the grass to see the girl with the stripped socks struggling to yank the boy with the ponytail, who Shizuo (going by their eyes) assummed to be her little brother), out of the bush by his ankles. The redhaired woman was helping the woman in the brown trenchcoat stand up, and the japanese woman in the pink kimono was aiding Marie in holding back Vincent's shoulder length hair as he puked his guts out. The man in the white dress shirt was calmly laying spreadeagle on the lawn smoking a cigarrette.

_Good God...these people are nuts!_

* * *

_Somewhere in Russia_

"Y-Yes, we're sorry-please don't yell."

_"You let him get away? I thought we told you to kill him! What have you been doing to him the past year? WE ORDERED YOU TO KILL HIM THE SECOND YOUR ONE YEAR CONTRACT RAN UP! NOT DO SOME HALF-ASSED EXPERMIMENT ON THAT LITTLE SHIT THAT LET HIM ESCAPE! FIND HIM OR YOU WON'T GET PAYED!"_

"NO! W-We need the money! Besides, you know I have my reasons for hating him just as much as you do-yes...yes I-...fine. It'll be done soone. Fine."

_"You better get it done soon, or we'll do it ourselves."_

* * *

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I only own my ocs**

* * *

Shizuo glanced toward's Shinra's kitchen and saw Izaya, dressed in the same black cotton pjs as before, cooking something while barefoot. He looked back to Shinra quizzically, "You let him cook?" Shinra shrugged, "He asked if he could make his own dinner-he's just making rice so there's nothing to worry about. Rice seems to be the only thing he can stomach at the moment..." Shizuo winced when Izaya limped to the fridge to pull out a large tub of vanilla ice cream.

Shizuo gave the doctor a look, "What?" Shinra shrugged in defence, "He wanted ice cream, too. He said his throat was sore and he wanted something to numb the pain."

"And you couldn't do that with painkillers?"

"Shizuo, if I gave him any more painkillers I'd be giving him an overdose. If he's still feeling pain after all I've given him, it only means that he's in an indescribable amount of pain-either that or he's built up a tolerance on painkillers. Both are more than likely, Shizuo."

* * *

Celty could only stare at the odd people crammed into her living room. The redhead (who she now knew as Verona) was playing Disney Monopoly with the girl in the pink kimono (Miyuki), the silent raven in the brown trench coat (Dolores), the girl in neon green skinny jeans (Marie), and the hot-tempered girl in the stripped thigh high socks (Rachel) who was screaming at a shaggy looking man in a blue bandana (Vincent) who apparently "cheated by going past GO". The white haired woman (Maria) was sitting on the floor and using an unconscious boy in baggy sweats (Buck) as a table to play cards with a laughing brunette (Ian) and a man in a white dress shirt (Victor) who was now officially on Celty's "Hottest Guys" list.

"Ummm...can I help you?"

Ian looked up from his card game and gave Celty a blinding smile, "Why yes, yes you can, you see our friend here is unconscious and we'd like to know if he has a concussion. You're friend is a doctor, right? That's what Shizuo said when he brought us here..."

"Shizuo...you know Shizuo?"

"Yeah, we...we crashed our van on the lawn of his apartment building..."

"...crashed your van?"

"Yeah..."

"It was a piece of shit, anyway."

"Shut UP Vincent!"

* * *

Shizuo sat at the wooden kitchen table in quiet contemplation. Izaya sat across from him, slowly eating a small bowl of steaming white rice. Minutes passed in an awkward silence and Shizuo took it as an opportunity to scrutinize the raven's appearance.

His hair had definetly grown out, it was just passed his chin and he had parted it in a way that would drape over the white eyepatch on his right eye-or lack of it. His skin was mottled in dark brown bruises and his skin was turning as sickly yellow as they faded. His left eye was still a dull crimson, and Izaya had stopped talking-he used his phone to communicate through text. He had grown an inch-yet still seemed so small, so fragile. Which was wierd considering that he was twenty five-supposedly he was supposed to have stopped growing, but things had ceased to make sense in the world of the fake blonde.

He wanted to ask so many questions.

_"Where did you go?"_

_"Who did this to you?"_

_"Are they still in Ikebukuro-did they hurt you right after I saw you?"_

_"Does it still hurt?"_

_"Why does seeing you hurt, hurt me as well?"_

He wanted to ask so many questions-but this was neither the place or the time. The man needed to rest, to recover so Shizuo could find out just who the hell hurt the flea so he could go and kill them.

He didn't know why he felt the way he did-so scared for the man he had sworn to kill. He thought he hated him...so what were these feelings? What did they mean?

***Bam***

"Iza-nii!"

The fork froze halfway to Izaya's mouth when his two sisters bursted through the doorway. Kururi and Mairu looked the same as they did a year before-just a bit taller, now fifteen. Mairu and Kururi ran to the kitchen and Shinra (who let the girls in), Shizuo, and Celty hung back to give them some privacy. While the siblings chattered, Shizuo couldn't help but peak around the door, his curiosity getting the best of him.

"We called papa and told him you were okay."

For some reason, that made Izaya fall silent, the air suddenly grew tense and the fork in his hand clattered to the floor. His face was deathly pale and he pushed back from the table with a screech of metal legs on tile floor. Shaky arms supported his hunched form on the table, and he turned his head up to look at the two surprisingly smug-looking girls.

Everyone's eyes widened at the two sister's changed appearance. Both girls had malicious grins on their faces and their eyes were narrowed in an overall evil expression.

"You did what?" Izaya rasped, pupils small and smirk long gone.

"Papa! Told!" Kururi chirped, voice disturbingly happy.

"We told him that you were okay, _Iza-nii_. Wouldn't want papa to _worry_ about you. He loves you _so_ much, after all." Sarcasm was plain as day. Shinra gaped and took a tentative step forward, only to freeze when Izaya suddenly broke out into hysterical laughter.

The raven stumbled backwards into the refrigerator, holding his sides as laughter racked his lithe body. This wasn't his normal laugh, it was was insane.

"_HA_!"

The onlookers jumped when Izaya let out the loud noise. His eye narrowed and he suddenly grew serious, "Very funny, Mairu. He _loves me_ just as much as _you_ love me. Why did you _really_ come here?"

The girl faked offense, "_What_? _Me_ hate _you_? What _ever_ would give you _that_ idea? Kururi and I were genuinely concerned for you! You've been gone for a year-we were so worried! When we heard you had finally come back we had to see you!" She let out a snicker, "To confirm with our own eyes that you weren't rotting in the grave. Why aren't you dead yet, you Goddamn _bastard_?"

Everyone's eyes widened when Izaya gave a humorless laugh, "Damned by God? Why, yes, I believe I am. As for why I'm not dead, the devil must not have enough room. Either that or my stubborn streak hasn't finished yet."

He gave a smirk when Mairu grit her teeth, "Who told you I was alive?"

"Shinra gave us a call, he said we should stop by and see you."

Said doctor shrunk back behind the swinging door at the informant's glare, "Yes, that _does_ sound like something Shinra would do. Tell me, _dearest sister_, what have you been doing while I've been away?"

A demonic grin spread across the fifteen year old's face, "Celebrating, obviously. Iza-nii was gone forever! Why _wouldn't_ we celebrate?" She frowned, "But it seems you weren't as gone as we hoped you were. What's it gonna take before we're rid of you!?" she shrieked the last sentence, shaking with fury.

Izaya smirked and limped towards the two girls. Mairu looked at her brother in fury, not backing down even when he drew a kitchen knife out of nowhere and pressed it against her neck. Celty made a move to stop him, but Shizuo held her back.

"It's going to take a lot more than a year in Russia, I'll tell you that. And cut it with the Iza-nii crap, you can stop acting."

She grinned psychotically, "Yes, I guess I should stop calling you that, after what you did to mama, after she adopted your filthy ass off the streets! You _deserve_ to die Izaya! Die like the dog you are! Die! Die! _Die_! Kiruko should have finished you off when he had the chance!"

Suddenly Izaya dropped the knife and slammed her against the wall, holding her up by putting his arm under her chin. Mairu struggled furiously in the man's grip but, even in his weakened state, she was no match for him. He leaned over and whispered into her ear, smirk widening on his face, "You _dare_ say his name again, and I will kill you. Don't think I won't, Mairu. Don't underestimate someone like me. _Something_ like me."

He pulled away and dropped her uncerimoniously onto the floor. Her sister ran to her aid and helped her up, giving him a glare.

"Get out of here, Mairu. You and your sister have your proof that I'm still kicking, so leave. _Now_."

With a final glare from Mairu and Kururi giving him the finger, the two of them fled from the apartment in a flash.

* * *

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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I only own my ocs**

* * *

Shizuo was sitting on Shinra's couch with a comical look of discomfort on his face. The blonde squirmed, "_Please, _you are sitting _way _too close to me and-wait, are you _sniffing _me?!" He scrambled away from the other male and plastered himself to the arm of the couch, "WHat the hell are you doing?!"

The man with the faded blue bandana around his neck, who Shizuo thought looked like a homeless person, frowned, "You smell like cat...I don't like cats..." he could swear he heard a french accent.

Shizuo cleared his throat awkwardly, "Well, yeah. I have a cat, actually. Her name's Misha..."

The man grunted, but thankfully got off the couch and stalked off towards the kitchen.

Rachel walked in and took his place.

Now, in the short time that Shizuo had known her (about two days) he had come to know a few things about her. For one, (and quite obviously) she had a short temper-kinda of like himself. The boy that Shinra was currently checking for a concussion was her little brother, Buck. The man earliar was Vincent, her boyfriend-who came back to sit between the two of them with a bowl of the rice Izaya made.

Rachel sighed and ruffled her lover's shaggy hair, "So, the good news is that Buck doesn't have a concussion."

Vincent looked over at her with a mouthful of rice, "What's the bad news?"

"The bad news is that when he woke up he puked all over Marie's shirt, so Mrs. Kishitani gave her one of her shirts to wear."

Celty choked on her own spit in the doorway to the examination room, "I-I'M NOT SHINRA'S WIFE!"

Said doctor, while inwardly squealing with joy, hissed from his position by Buck's beside, "Shhh! Izaya's sleeping in the other room, remember?"

"S-Sorry..._'m not your wife_..."

Shizuo sighed and turned to Rachel, "Where's the rest of your...gang?"

She shrugged, "Most of 'em went back to try to fix the van, but Maria's with Izaya and I think Ian's in the bathroom."

Something suddenly flared in his chest and he dashed over to Shinra, "A-Are you sure she should be in there with him?!"

"_SHHHH!_ She's just sitting next to him just in case he has another nightmare. He shouldn't have been walking around this morning with all his injuries, his sisters' visit didn't help. Besides, last night he had so many nightmares that Celty and I couldn't sleep at all! It should be fine."

A flush of a toilet and Ian walked into the bedroom, giving Buck a nod, "Are you alright, Buck?" The boy shrugged with a wince, "I have a few bruises, but I'm fine, I guess."

Rachel stood up from the couch and smacked Ian on the back of the head, "No thanks to your stupid van."

"Yeah, if it wasn't for that van I wouldn't be stuck wearing this shirt that says "Aliens can suck it""

Buck visibly wilted when Marie came stomping in, his face flushed in shame, "Sorry...Marie"

She shook her head, "Don't worry, it's not your fault. Hey, where's Shizuo?"

* * *

_Am I jealous-no, not jealous just worried-wait, why the hell am I worried?! I hate the flea!_

Nevertheless, Shizuo peaked through the door to take a look at Izaya's sleeping face. Maria hummed something quietly as she stroked the boy's hair. His eyes darted under his eyelids as he dreamed. Maria suddenly stopped her petting and Shizuo looked closer and saw that Izaya was beginning to break out in a sweat. His tongue moved behind his parted lips and he clenched the blankets in his sleep.

* * *

_I'm sorry_

_Why are my hands so warm?_

_I'm sorry_

_Why is it so dark?_

_I'm sorry_

_What have I done?_

_I'm sorry_

_Why am I crying?_

_I'm sorry _

_Where are you?_

_I'm sorry_

_What have I done?_

_I'm sorry_

"TSUKISHIMA!"

* * *

Shizuo was honestly surprised that he was having trouble pinning the spasaming Izaya to the bed. He was strong enough to rip out stop signs from the concrete and lift vans with one hand, and yet the informant was able to actually put up a fight. _Is the flea as strong as me now!? How is that even possible?! What the hell happened to him!?_ All the commotion had alerted Shinra and the others, who were currently bursting through the door to help. Shinra ordered everyone else out of the room, save for Maria and Shizuo, and fumbled with something on a cart. "It's a sedative!" he called over Izaya's screams, "What did you do to him?!" Shizuo gaped angrily, "Me?! I didn't do anything! He just had a nightmare and-argh!"

Izaya had somehow broken free from Shizuo's gasp and, with a single lunge, had knocked him off the bed and was straddling his waist. Slim fingers wrapped around his throat and Shizuo dimly noted that there was an absence of nails digging into his flesh. _Are his fingernails...gone_? Pressure on his windpipe broke his thoughts. "A-Ack!" Izaya was clearly awake-and yet the look in his eye made Shizuo realize that he wasn't actually "here". _He's not seeing me-he's seeing someone else!_ "Burn!" Izaya's voice was wild. "Burn burn burn burn burn! BURN IN HELL YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Shinra had injected the serum into the man's arm, and yet the grip that was slowly dimming Shizuo's vision, was still there. Water dripping on his face alerted Shizuo to the fact that Izaya had started crying. "G-Give her back! Give me back my sister! Give Kanra back! Damn you Hakuro! I'll-I'll-ah~"

Shizuo gasped for air when the hold loosened from his throat as Izaya toppled over, unconscious. Shinra helped him sit up and Shizuo stared at the man out cold on the floor. His hair was splayed around his face and tea tracks were evident on his face. His lips were slightly parted and he caught sight of Izaya's teeth. The canines looked sharped than he remembered. He trailed his eyes to Izaya's hands and tried to hold down the sickening feeling in his stomach. "H-His hands-" Gone. On both hands his fingernails were gone-instead replaced by scar tissue. "No wonder he wore gloves.." Shizuo muttered.

"He...He said Hakuro...right?"Shinra and Shizuo turned their heads to Vincent, who looked paler than usual and was using the door frame to hold himself up. Rachel came up behind him and put a comforting hand on his cheek, "Vincent, Vincent look at me...is Hakuro the one who..." Vincent nodded and covered her hand with his own. "What the hell is going on here? Do you know anything about this? Do you know where the flea's been for the past year?" Vincent bit his lip, "I...I think I should get Ian to get the others...we're going to need all the help we can get if that bastard's still alive."

* * *

_I'm sorry_

So much blood...

_I'm sorry_

Is it my blood...?

_I'm sorry_

No...

_I'm sorry_

It's Kanra's...

_I'm sorry_

Stop that...

_I'm sorry_

Stop saying that, Kanra...

_I'm sorry_

It's not your fault...

_I'm sorry_

It's not your...

_I'm sorry_

It's not...

_I'm sorry_

It's...

_I'm sorry_

**It's mine**

* * *

"_Say what?"_

"I said, Hakuro Kamidachi is the head of Chimamireina Pharmaceuticals. It's a company that deals solely in distributing vaccines internationally. But that's just the cover up, Hakuro is actually the director of the E.G.H.R.T.F , the Experimental Genetic Human Research Testing Facility in Moscow, Russia. It's...for lack of a better term...a human farm. There's a joint facility in Paris, France...it's an orphanage. There are actually several of these scattered all over the globe...but I lived in the aforementioned. Hakuro takes orphans and injects them with certain experimental drugs and moves them accordingly. If they react, they're taken to the EGHRTF-if not they remain in the orphanage..."

The room went quiet. Shinra, Celty, and Shizuo had moved the couch and coffee table out of the living room so that the thirteen of them could gather in an lopsided circle. Shizuo's world stopped, "So...Izaya was...what? What happened to him? How are you involved?"

Vincent shook his head, "I don't know anything about your friend, but as for myself...I was one of the few orphans who reacted to S-0983."

Shinra frowned, "S-0983?"

The other bit his lip and looked nervously at Ian, "Ian? Is this okay? Can...Can we trust them?" Celty gave a reassuring smile, "Whatever you have to say, we promise we won't repeat it to anyone...you can trust us."

Ian looked at the three suspciously for a moment before sighing in defeat, "Fine, go ahead Vincent." He narrowed his eyes at them, "But if you breathe a word of this to anyone and endanger my family, I will not hesitate to end you."

* * *

"My name is Vincent, male, age 23, born in Paris, France...otherwise known as test subject 079. Okay, how do I start this...uh...my parents died when I was six in a car crash. I had no living relatives. Naturally, I was taken to an orphanage...Hakuro's orphanage...I had no idea what was about to happen to me. The second I got through the door they dragged me aside and injected me with S-0983...it is a formula of genetic mutation...I don't really know exactly what it does...only that it fucks you up. I reacted to it immediately...my personality and appetite changed...I became more agressive...more prone to violence...On the third day I was transfered to Moscow...for twelve years I was used as a lab rat...S-0983 turned me into a monster...it mixed my DNA with that of an animal...I became angry and I was always hungry...They starve you, torture you, rape you, inject you, and destroy you...What you saw me eating back at the warehouse was a stray cat that I caught on the streets. I think that the animal DNA in S-0983 is of a dog or a wolf because everything about me has become canine. My sense of smell is beyond advanced, I'm strong enough to lift a truck with one hand, I'm fast, I've the intelligence of a genius, and hateful...Hate is the strongest emotion that I feel...so much that it's become another side of me. One day during training, they make you fight and train with other subjects, I snapped. My mind went blank and I apparently killed my opponent and destroyed half of the facility. I don't remember most of it, if I try I just draw a blank. Ian and the others found me half dead in the snow...Ian I think you can take it from here..."

"Alright, I'm going to say it outright...none of us are human, except for Buck-but that's another story. Maria and I came first. We don't know what we are. My first memory was of Jesus being crucified on the cross. Yes, I'm immortal-bullets can't kill me and neither can time. I age excruciatingly slowly. Maria was with me from the beginning. I'm stronger than the average person, and I'm faster too. But that's about it. Maria is the same. We've entertained ourselves by fighting in wars. The American Revolution, the World Wars-you name it, we were in it. That's how I met Victor."

"Yes, what side were you on, again? Oh-now I remember, you were with the Americans and I was with the British. I think you threw a tank at me...My name is Victor and I'm from Romania. I'm a vampire. Not like those freaky pansy vampires from Twilight. Those are gay. I'm not gay. I'm the adopted child of Vlad Tepes, Dracula. He wanted an heir for when he died. After his death I abandoned my post, I've never liked how human blood tastes,I prefer deer-no, not like Twilight. I can surive in the sun and silver doesn't affect me, neither does garlic or wooden stakes. The sun only makes me tired. I'm a special type of vampire-a very rare breed. I immediately joined Ian and Maria-I longed for change. The next person we came upon was Miyuki."

"Hello, my name is Miyuki and I'm a Kitsune from Japan. I was a shrine goddess who grew bored of the worship I recieved-you tend to grow dreadfully lonely after three hundred years of nothing but psalms and coin givers. I can control the elements and can turn into a fox-not those perverted versions where I have ears and tails, I'm a woman with class thank you very much. I met Victor when they were traveling through my village, and it was love at first sight. I've been traveling with them every since. Our goal is to establish a "family" for misfits-supernatural beings-like ourselves. We "adopted" Dolores and Verona next."

"Hi, my name is Verona, I'm 178 years old-Dolores is 182. We grew up together in Little Rock, Arkansas. I'm an Energy Vampire, meaning I survive off other people's energy-not their blood, that's Dolores' thing. Dolores doesn't like to talk-and when she does it's usually mean. She's a cold pers-ow! Don't hit me! Anyway, we're the type of vampires that become human during the day-that's the only time we can be killed. Silver, garlic, and steaks doen't affect us either-stupid myths. We joined because we we're being chased by a bunch of vampire hunters and needed to escape. We've been with the gang for 56 years. We "adopted" Marie 14 years ago."

"Yo! My name's Marie and I'm 19. I was born in Rhode Island and these guys found me when I accidentally blew up my house (it was empty, thank God). I was an orphan with no family and I had the power to control things with my mind-I must've done something with the microwave or heater or something like that (I was only 5!). Miyuki raised me and we've been best friends ever since. We found Rachel and Buck 6 years ago."

"Hey, I'm Rachel-this is my younger brother Buck. I'm 22 and he's 19. We're from Germany. We joined because our ancestors were in WW2 training camps-jewish-and were injected with something that gave them the ability to "mind dive". It allows me to see people's pasts or control them-I can read minds too. It was genetic but only passed to the women. I have it-but Buck doesn't. We joined because we had just lost our parents and had nowhere else to go, I just couldn't abandon Buck so we brought him with us. We found Vincent 5 years ago."

"So there you have it...any questions?"

* * *

I don't know why, but I've always seen Shizuo as a cat person, what about you? **Also, I'd like more feedback-the review button's right there! click it! pwease!**


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I'm done with disclaimers..._

**Bold is a flashback or a dream **

* * *

**Izaya whimpered and curled his fingers around the sheets. How he wished that he could just melt into the mattress and away from all the pain. If he closed his eyes tight enough, he could block out the darkness around him. He could do nothing, however, against the sounds of the screams from unlucky children. He grit his teeth, his sister was one of them. The men in gray would come in the middle of the night and steal a child from each room. He could hear Miles sobbing quietly in the bunk bed above him while Kikiyo seemed to be paralyzed silent with fear in the bottom bunk opposite his own. He glanced at the top bunk over Kikiyo's with sadness, his sister's face didn't peer over the edge at him like she usually did. No, she was under their hands now. **

**Their filthy, filthy hands...**

* * *

Shizuo and Shinra had promptly fainted and Celty could only gape.

"Y-You're-!"

"Yes?"

"W-What the hell?!"

"*sigh* I told you they'd freak out, Ian."

"Yes, well, at least now we can help their friend."

"Wait!"

Shizuo had woken up suddenly and was staring at the other's from the floor with a look of horror on his face.

"D-Don't you dare fucking take him away!"

Ian furrowed his brow in confusion, "What do you mean? We're not going to take him anywhere. We only "adopt" people who have no one else. He has you guys. Since we've finally met someone like Vincent we can help him. We help our own."

"But...you don't even know us..."

"And? Do we need do know you to want to help? That's stupid. If someone needs help, we'll do everything we can. That's just how we are."

"...Do you think Hakuro will come for Izaya?"

That shocked everyone into silence.

Shizuo paled considerably, _oh God...if that psycho comes for him Izaya'll die. But wait! Why do I give a shit about that flea?! I hate him! I hate him! I hat-_

"The only way to find out would be to ask Izaya directly. However, I doubt he'll comply-hell it took me _three years_ to spill!"

...

Rachel looked up and bit her lip, "...I could show you his memories...if you want..."

* * *

**"How old are you, kid?"**

**"...thirteen..."**

**Shiki blinked and paused lighting a cigarette, "And you're _drunk_?"**

**Izaya shrugged and let out a weak humorless laugh, "We all have our problems...say-do you have any cash I could borrow?"**

**"For booze?"**

**"No...for something to eat..."**

**"Sorry 'bout that, kid-but I'm no charity." **

**Izaya used a trashcan to pull himself to his feet and smirked, "That's a shame-and I really am hungry..."**

**"Go home, kid. Get your parents to make you something to eat."**

**"My parents are dead."**

**"...Then you're homeless?"**

**"...Both literally and figuratively."**

**The man stubbed his cigarete on the sole of his boot, "You got any talents, kid?"**

**"Talent?"**

**"Are you smart? Can you work? Can you fight?"**

**The boy blew the bangs out of his face and smirked, "All of the above."**

* * *

"What do you mean?"

"I just told you all that I can manipulate peoples' minds. I can share his memories with you...but only if he allows it."

* * *

**"Hey...brat...get your ass off the couch and go grab me another beer!"**

**"Why?"**

**"Because I said so!"**

***crash***

**"Throwing bottles? Oh my, what will Kyokou think?"**

***smack***

**"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE SPEAK MY WIFE'S NAME IN THIS HOUSE! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD!"**

***smash***

**"I'VE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES! I. DIDN'T. DO. ANYTHING. WRONG!"**

***thwack***

**"BULLSHIT! IT WAS YOUR AND YOUR STUPID FILTHY HIDE THAT KILLED HER!"**

***shatter***

**"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT SHE'D GET SICK?! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU'RE A SHITTY DOCTOR!"**

**The sixteen year old was suddenly lifted by his hair and thrown against the TV, cracking the screen and spattering it with blood.**

* * *

Shizuo, Celty, Shinra, and Rachel all stood over izaya's sleeping form in relative silence.

"How are we going to do this, exactly."

Rachel sighed and ran a hand through her hair, "I can only transfer memories from one person to another. Izaya can only pick one of you."

"He's unconscious! How's he going to do anything!?"

"I'm can make the bridge, but only Izaya can open the gates. He doesn't have to be awake to do that. Alright, Shizuo stand to the right of the bed, Celty the left, and Shinra you stand at the foot. This might not work, remember? It's up to Izaya. Remember that. The memories he _might_ show you will be the ones that he _chooses_ to show you."

Shizuo held his breath when he felt a strange feeling enter his head, as if cold hands were prodding his brain.

Rachel looked at him in confusion, "H-He chose you.."

Shinra and Celty gaped, "B-But he hates him!"

Rachel shrugged, "There's probably a reason for it."

But Shizuo didn't hear any of that...he was already in Izaya's head.

* * *

Shizuo was standing in a police station. Men and women in uniforms bustled about with papers and telephone calls. Shizuo yelped when a man walked _through _him, like he was a ghost. People seemed to not be able to see nor hear him.

"What the hell?" Last time he checked he was in Shinra's apartment! Then it hit him, _I forgot...I'm in Izaya's memories...those guys really must have been telling the truth about having wierd powers like this...then again, I'm friends with a girl who previously had no head..._

"Roppi and Kanra Hachimen?"

The voice came from a gruff man in his mid fifties, he wore a police uniform and had a frown plastered on his chubby face. He sat in a small office at a wooden table, across from two kids who looked to be about ten years old. The girl had on neon orange t-shirt and white shorts with white sneakers. Her long straight black hair reached her back and her crimson eyes were blood shot from crying. She was sitting on the lap of a boy with her face buried into his shoulder and was sobbing weakly into his black short sleeve tee. He wore dark gray cargo pants and black sneakers and around his neck were two silver rings on a crass necklace of twine. His face was stoney and his red eyes were dull. His mouth was set into an apathetic line and his short black hair framed his face.

Shizuo's breath caught in his throat, _I-Izaya?!_

"Yes, I'm Roppi. Kanra is my twin sister. She...doesn't want to talk right now." The boy stroked his crying sibling's hair fondly. The officer cleared his throat and sighed, "I'm truly sorry for your loss...you're both ten, correct? How horrible...to lose your parents at such a critical time...and in such a manner, too...do you have any relatives you can stay with?" Roppi shook his head, "No...and my parents never had any close friends..." The girl whimpered, "M-Mama...p-papa..." The officer averted his eyes from the scene, clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

"Are those the Hachimen twins?" Shizuo turned around from his position behind the officer and glaced out the slightly open door. Two women in uniform sat on a bench across from the office drinking cofee. To hear what they were saying, Shizuo walked out the door-only to find that he was capable of walking _through _it. The blonde woman turned to her brunette companion with sad eyes, "Yeah, Officer Makuto has to figure out where to send them...they'll probably end up at an orphanage...poor things...I can't believe that their parents were killed because an elevator cable snapped...how unfortunate..."

Officer Makuto opened the door, and the women immediately closed their mouths. The two children trudged out the door, Kanra clinging to the back of Roppi's shirt for dear life, while the the latter remained apathetic. The older man motioned to the two women, "These officers will drive you to Bogmertv Orphanage-you'll like it there...it's a very nice place...and I'm sure you'll get adopted in no time!" Roppi raised his head and the three officers visibly winced: his eyes were dead.

"Will I be able to stay with Kanra?"

The brunette gave a nervous smile, "O-Of course you will! Don't worry about it! Now c'mon, we'll stop for some ice cream on the way there, how does that sound?"

* * *

The drive was quiet and the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Shizuo sat in the backseat with Kanra and Roppi while the brunette (who he now knew as Moka) drove and the blonde (Rin) occupied the passanger seat. The twins had passed up on the icecream as soon as the girls had offered-which Shizuo understood all too well. Who wants icecream when they know they're parents are dead? It was too soon, he found out that they had only died the day before. Assuming that the kids had moved on after just a day was simply cruel.

Roppi and Kanra never said a word, Roppi just stared into space while hugging his almost catatonic sister. Shizuo was having trouble wrapping him mind around the name "Roppi Hachimen".

_The heck? Orihara obviously came from when he was aparently adopted by the Orihara family...but Izaya? Where would he get that name...and why would he change his name in the first place...Roppi Hachimen...what an odd name...heh, well I guess it's fitting, really...an odd name for an odd person..._

"Alright you two! Here we are! The Bogmertv Orphanage!"

* * *

REview! I love you all for the generous amounts of review goodies you;ve given me already! You're awesome!

I won't continue unless i get more reviews


	6. Chapter 6

The theme song for this chapter is **"Counting Bodies" by Perfect Circle- the one that's about 7 minutes long (put it on loop!)**

**Warnings for the upcoming chapters!: Child Abuse, torture, language, sensitive subjects, and possibly disturbing images...I think I might change this to M...what do you think?**

* * *

NOTE: Shizuo can sometimes hear what Izaya is thinking-just not in this chapter

* * *

A castle was what first came to Shizuo's mind when he saw the large brown building. The wooden structure was surrounded on three sides by endless forest, the drive there was along an empty back road; it was in the middle of nowhere. A large metal gate reminded the blonde of a prison. A man in a gray uniform stood at the entrance. He held the gate open for the twins and spoke happily with the two officers. The lawn was bright green and there was a building to the side that looked to Shizuo like a chicken coop. A big white sign with black painted letters hung over the metal door to the orphanage, it read simply "Bogmertv".

The twins looked up at the man with dim eyes. Kanra continued to cling to her brother. The man looked to be in his early fourties, his eyes were brown and friendly, his smile big and warm. He was tall and broad and muscles were clear under his clothes. His face was clean and shaven and his dark brown hair was short and combed back.

"Hello Roppi, Kanra. I'm truly sorry for your loss...but now you can start anew! My name is Hakuro Chimamireina, but you can call me Hakuro. Welcome, to Bogmertv Orphanage!"

A faint flicker of hope flashed in the crimson eyes of Roppi and Shizuo held his breath, _Vincent...said that...oh God...I don't want to see the flea get raped! I hate violence! No one-not even the flea-should go through this! Hakuro...Oh God! This man is the one who-_

Something he could only identify as pure rage bubbled in his soul. This was the man who tortured Izaya...Roppi...and Kanra! _This man is going to kill Kanra!_

Shizuo watched the man lead the twins to the door and the two officers smiled before driving away.

The second the officers were out of sight, Hakuro expression transformed into that of sadistic pleasure. His lips curled into a cruel smile and his eyes glinted. Roppi froze and looked up at the man in confusion, wondering where the happy man of hope had gone.

"Wha-"

***smack!***

Shizuo could only freeze in horror as Hakuro roughly backhanded Roppi, sending him crashing into the metal door. Kanra shrieked and ran to her brother's aid, only to be grabbed by the collar and punched in square in the jaw. Her back hit the door with a sickening clang and she slid down its cold surface to slump beside her brother. She had been knocked unconscious, her lip split and her cheek swollen red. Roppi had hit his head and his vision was swimming. Hakuro smirked and kicked open the door, smile growing when the twins fell backwards when their support disappeared. Roppi gasped when two men grabbed Kanra and he weakly turned to Hakuro, his mind clouding, "S-Stop p-please!" Hakuro grinned and produced a syringe from his sleeve.

Roppi whimpered and spun towards Kanra and let out a gasp when one of them jabbed the needle into her neck. "K-Kanr-ahh!" Hakuro stuck the needle in his own neck and he immediately passed out.

* * *

When he came to, the first thing he saw was the bottom of a bed above him. He was in a bunkbed. The mattress was cold and lumpy, and the thin sheets were a disturbing shade of gray and covered in suspicious stains; he lacked a pillow. His neck was sore and his vision was blurry but he was able to make out another bunk bed next to him. The walls were peeling and cracked, and the only light came from an old bulb hanging from the ceiling. The room was cramped and there were no windows, only a single door between the two beds. The cots were pushed up against the wall on either side of the room. A young girl with black twin braids, fair skin, clad in only a white sundress sat in the bed next to him. The dress hung off one shoulder, revealing discolored skin where bruises flourished. He sat up a little too fast in surprise, and it took him a moment for the black spots to cease dancing across his eyes. He winced and clutched his head, "W-What happened?"

The girl cocked her head to the side and continued to stare at him with vacant sea green eyes. A shiver went down his spine at her blank expression.

"She doesn't speak."

A male voice with a heavy accent that Izaya identified as russian came from the bed above his own. He let out a yelp when a head suddenly appeared from the top, smiling at him upsidedown. Pale yellow hair hung down and dark brown eyes were dulled. The boy looked to be about the same age as the girl, about ten like Izaya. The boy had a couple bruises on his face and there was a large scar extending from his left ear and across his cheek to the corner of his mouth.

"W-What do you mean?"

The boy gave a humorless chuckle, "Tongue's cut out."

Izaya muffled a scream with his hands when the girl opened her mouth, revealing the short stump of muscle. Izaya looked at the boy in horror, "W-What is t-this p-place?!"

The boy gave an empty grin, "Don't you know? Bog mertv is russian for 'God is Dead'"

* * *

One day was all it had taken. One day and the twins had already been raped and beaten half to death, not to mention the injections they had received earlier had given them raging fevers. Roppi and Kanra lay shivering in their cots, Roppi's below Miles and Kanra's above Kikiyo's. Miles lay in his own cot, absently staring up at the peeling cieling, having been assigned to watch over the twins so they didn't try to escape or die of their fevers. Kikiyo was out doing "chores".

They had learned several things about their "roommates". Kikiyo had arrived at the orphanage last year and had lost her tongue on her fourth day when she accidentally "raised her voice" to a staff member. Miles had been there longer than any other orphan, since he was five. He was from Russia, but had moved to Japan when he was four. Both their parents had died in crashes, Kikiyo's in a plane crash, and Miles' in a train crash.

Miles told them about S-0983.

Roppi was quiet while the russian boy spoke monotonously, "If you react to it they'll take you away. If you don't react to it...you'll stay here."

A pause.

"Is it...wherever they take us...is it better than here...or is it worse...?"

Roppi shifted his eyes to the upper cot where Kanra had lay completely silent, until now. She was hidden beneathe her covers, pressed as close to the cold wall as she could. He bit his lip, Kanra had to be gagged when they had raped her, because she wouldn't stop screaming. Unlike Roppi, who had distanced himself from the world and gone into a sort of trauma-induced trance.

"No one knows...but once you go...you're never seen again...I don't even know where they take you...probably to some research facility to experiment on us...sick bastards..."

Roppi nodded numbly and fingered the rings on the necklace.

"What are those rings you're wearing, anyway?"

"Mom and dad's engagement rings...I didn't have the heart to take away their wedding rings..."

"Ah~..."

"...What is this place?"

Roppi's voice sounded hollow.

Miles gave an empty laugh and glanced over at Kanra's shaking form.

"Hell."

* * *

Shizuo clapped a hand over his mouth to stop the contents of his stomach from ending up on the dirty wood floor. A man walked through the classroom with a scowl. Roppi and Kanra sat side by side at their desks, one of many in the room full of malnourished children. The only sounds were the clunk of the man's heavy boots and the scrawl of pen on paper. And the apologies...

The words echoed through the building, the words of children's tortured pleas.

_I'm sorry_

The children were filling out forms.

_I'm sorry_

Paperwork that the staff was too lazy to do.

_I'm sorry_

Roppi winced and flexed his fingers, _damn it, another cramp..._

_I'm sorry_

The man suddenly slammed his hand on Roppi's desk, making him jump in fear, "Keep writing!" Roppi nodded obediently and went back to work, pausing only to squeeze Kanra's hand reassuringly.

_I'm sorry_

They still wore the same clothes they had been wearing the day they arrived.

They weren't given any other clothes.

They were expected to wash them on their own.

Chores consisted of scrubbing the floors, mantinence, cooking all the meals, making the staffs' beds, filling out paperwork, cleaning the chicken coop, tending to the garden...etc.

Once the fever had gone down, the staff had kept an extra close eye on the twins' conditions. Kanra had completely shut herself down, she barely spoke. Roppi, on the other hand, refused to be broken. No matter how many times they beat and raped him, he refused to say he was sorry.

That was the requirment.

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

His appetite had increased-just like the others'-but the lack of food and it's equally lacking nutrition had rendered him eternally hungry. His metabolism had gone into overdrive-and it was torture. It seemed to be a side affect of the injection-whether or not you reacted however it was that the staff was hoping for. Roppi also felt something growing within him, though he had no idea what it was. He was scared. He was angry.

He was a boy who was never angry.

His parents corporate buisness owners, though he didn't know exactly what they did. They lived in a nice home, with a picket fence and a cat...he briefly wondered where his cat had gone...He was a kind child who respected his parents. He loved animals and played soccer with hsi friends in the park. He liked to help people and he liked to climb trees. He was selfless and protective of his sister.

He had always believed in God...

But that night as he lay in his bed, just as he closed his eyes, Kanra's words echoed from somewhere in the building...

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

And he could only think that Bogmertv was a fitting name for this hell...

* * *

REVEIW!


	7. Chapter 7

**I have to apologize for this late update-I was in New York for Christmas and New Year's so I was kinda tied up!**

* * *

Shizuo felt sick.

He couldn't believe that the Izaya he knew, the cocky little flea, had such a horrible childhood. Saying that he was angry at Hakuro didn't even begin to describe how he felt towards that man. That monster or one of his lackeys would fetch a random child from each rom every night and..well, lets leave it up to your imagination.

Shizuo found that in this "world" he was allowed free range. He could walk anywhere he wanted-not just near Roppi or Kanra. He used this to his advantage whenever they were whisked away to be beaten...or worse. But no matter how far he went, he could never escape that chanting...

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

Roppi never said it, though-making his punishment worse.

Shizuo couldn't help but feel a certain degree of admiration and respect for the boy's courage. Punishment was given for even the smallest things. If you spilled food you had to eat it off the floor with your mouth. If you messed up chores you would be whipped with barbed wire. Every other day the kids were taken into a large room, ordered to stand in a line, strip, and were then examined head to toe for whatever they were looking for. sometimes a child was yanked away and never seen again...

Sometimes he could hear Roppi's thoughts.

It felt weird, as if someone was talking in his head.

_I'm hungry_

_I'm tired_

_I want to go home_

Roppi and Kanra were getting thinner, he noticed. More than once Kanra had actually fainted...MIles and Kikiyo tried to help the twins with getting used to Bogmertv...but how could you get used to living in a hell like that?

Shizuo made note of several things about Roppi and Kanra.

Kanra rarely left Roppi's side, she clung to him often and almost never spoke. She only opened her mouth to eat and say that she was "sorry".

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

Roppi was a clever child.

He hung back at the end of the line when the kids lined up to take their weekly two minute showers.

Turns out that cold water was better suited to numb soreness...

Kanra wore a heart shaped silver locket with a photo of their parents on one side and her and Roppi on the other.

Kanra was shy.

Roppi had spark.

Kanra was easily dominated.

Roppi never stopped fighting.

Kanra screamed and apologized.

Roppi never gave them that satisfaction.

One night, when Kikiyo had been snatched away and the remaining three kids sat trembling in their beds, Kanra finally spoke up.

"Roppi...I want to die."

Silence.

Shizuo didn't dare breath, he was afraid that he might throw up.

"I know."

Roppi's voice was dead.

"But I think I can get us out of here."

Miles scoffed, "_Please,_ every door is locked and boarded up. There are no windows and the last person who tried to dig a tunnel under the floor boards ended up breaking off all his finger nails in the process.

Roppi scowled and shook his head, "Hear me out you guys, I heard from one of the others that the key to the chicken coop is the same to the front door."

That got Kanra's attention.

"We can...escape?"

Miles clicked his tongue, "The last time someone even got close to escaping...they killed her..."

Roppi sighed, "If they catch us they might kill us...but if we don't _even try_ then we'll _definitely_ die here...we only have one chance..."

Kanra whimpered, "If we make it...where would we go?"

Miles swung his legs over the side of the bed and gave Kanra a reassuring smile, "I heard that there's an orphanage a few miles west called 'The House of Love'. They even have naptime and the beds have pillows!"

Kanra gave a week smile and pulled the sheet tighter around her shoulders, "Naptime?"

Roppi grinned and clapped his hands, "Then it's decided, we'll fill in Kikiyo on the details when she gets back and we'll leave tomorrow."

* * *

"_Come on Roppi! Hurry up!"_

_"Quiet Miles! You'll wake the guards up!"_

_"B-Brother I heard a noise!"_

The four children simultaneous froze in the wake of their whispers, listening to the thump thump thump of heavy boots on cracking wooden floor boards. Roppi paled at least three shades of white and hurried back to his job of unlocking the heavy padlock with the small rusty key. During Kanra's chore of cleaning the chicken coops she had stolen the key when the guard's back was turned.

Roppi's whole body shook under the pressure and felt like he was suffocating under his companions' fear. He blinked away tears of frustration when his hand once again slipped.

_Come on come on-got it!_

* * *

Bare feet hit the dirt with dull slaps and harsh breaths came out in puffs of white. The night sky was thick with dark storm clouds and the air smelled of oncoming rain. Wind battered the trees and sent leaves tumbling down to the forest floor. The dark limbs were twisted dancers against a backdrop of dark nimbus.

Kanra's hand was cold in his own as they ran side by side through the thicket. Miles and Kikiyo had split up from them at the start; they were less likely to get caught if they seperated.

They agreed to meet up later at The House of Love.

Roppi imagined fluffy towels and feather pillows-things he had taken for granted before their parents died. Roppi hoped that when they got there, that Kanra could be happy.

That Kanra could smile again like she used to...

* * *

Shizuo was floating above the scene on some invisible platform. He could see Miles running a ways off to the right towards a rivers, and Kikiyo had made it farther than the other three, already at the hills. Roppi and Kanra were lagging behind...

An alarm, shrills and horrible, had gone off the moment the door clicked open to freedom. A guard caught sight of the kids just as they bolted out the door. Shouts of men and the baying of dogs rang in Roppi's ears and he silently cursed his luck.

He looked over at his sister and saw that she was beginning to fall behind him. He tugged on her hand harder and she gave a lurch before stumbling to right herself. She locked eyes with him and unspoken words flowed from her frightened vermillion. Time stopped as the barking dogs and hollers of the guards grew ever louder.

_We won't make it, Roppi...we were too slow..._

He opened his mouth to speak, only for a surprised scream to burst from his lips as he stepped onto air. He and Kanra could only gasp in fear before they were sent tumbling down the hill in a jumble of sharp rocks and slippery mud. They crashed to the bottom in a tangled ball of limbs and Roppi let out a groan as he struggled to regain steady vision. He blearly looked about to survey his surrounds.

They had fallen twenty feet into a ditch.

The walls were steep and jutted sharp rocks that had already torn into their skin. Kanra had hit her head on a large boulder and was drifting in and out of consciousness. Blood dripped down her face and he saw that her right leg was wedged underneathe her at a sickening angle. His chest hurt, probably he had broken a few ribs in the fall.

"Over here! I found those Hachimen brats!"

He jerked his head up at the sound of skidding rocks and felt his world crashing down around him. Two men had slid down the incline and towered over him and Kanra wearing shit eating grins.

Roppi coudn't even speak, he was in shock.

One of the men roughly grabbed him by the arm and he was forcibly thrust back into reality. He could feel Kanra being torn out from under him and he could smell the foul reak of the man's breath.

_I won't die here_

The man grabbed a fistful of his hair and lifted him to eye level. Maliscious green eyes bore into his, and a sharklike grin almost reached the man's ears.

_I won't die here_

"Stupid little whore...I'll make sure to make you finally scream before I kill you...I'll make sure to take it slow..."

The threat implied made Shizuo gag.

_I won't die here_

The man traced a dirty finger around the boy's eyes and suddenly stuck it Roppi's mouth. Shizuo forced down bile when Roppi grinned, catching the man off guard.

"I won't die here."

And he bit down on the man's finger.

_Hard_.

With a crunch of bone and an explosion of red, the man screamed and yanked away the stub that was now his index finger. Roppi gagged at the copper taste and immediately spat out the man's severed finger tip and went into action. He forced himself to stand and he glared down momentarily at the man who was howling and thrashing on the ground.

"YOU BIT OFF MY FINGER YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU WHORE! YOU-" Roppi grabbed a rock, and without thinking, began to beat the man's head in.

His blood was boiling and roaring in his ears, he couldn't hear the other guard's shouts or Kanra's pained whimpers. His eyes were wild and crazed and he wore a sadistic grin. He only cared about smashing the man's brains in. With each sickening crack as the rock struck bone, the thing growing inside Roppi grew and blossomed into the happiness he was taking in his blows.

His grin grew immpossibly wider when the man's eyes rolled into the back of his head as pink oozed from the sizable hole in his skull.

The grin didn't disappear even after he was clubbed unconscious.

* * *

**Now listen to "Lies" by Evanescene for the next part to truly be read correctly**

* * *

_The walls are dark and you can hear the scratching of their nails behind the door. They come in the night like specters and snatch the unsuspecting from their beds. In the morning you find the trees screaming and the faucet dripping. Broken lockers and dirty futons and yet there is no one here. If you listen carefully you can hear the pain-filled cries of the damned. Of the lambs drawn to slaughter. I wonder if you can hear them. I wonder if I'll ever be saved from the hell around me. Does it matter what I think? Does it matter at all? After all, I know that I will die here. Here in the hell that is my home._

_..._

* * *

Roppi woke up cold and in pain.

But not alone.

Angry hands suddenly grabbed his hair and, before he was even able to steady his vision, he was thrown backwards and crashed into something rather lumpy yet soft. Roppi groaned and shook the haze from his mind and blearily looked around. He recognized this place, the storage room by the chicken coop...

He winced as he crained his neck to see what he had landed on.

And he felt his mind shatter.

* * *

Kikiyo lay in a pile of hay, devoid of all clothing and littered in bruises, cuts, and unmentionable body fluids. Her nose had been cut off and there was a fire poker stabbed through her heart. Vacant sea green eyes were clouded over in death, her mouth was open to reveal her toothless bloody gums.

Roppi broke out in a cold sweat, head swimming.

Kikiyo was dead, murdered in cold blood.

What of Miles?

Did Miles escape?

An all too familiar chuckle met his ears.

"Ah~Congrajulations! You found her! She's been waiting for you to wake up! How sad that you had to see her in such a state...but such is life..."

A shiver ran down his spine at Hakuro's voice.

The man was leaning on the doorframe that opened up to the backyard.

Escape was so close...

"Come along Roppi-chan. I have a surprise for you!"

In two easy strides Hakuro reached Roppi and yanked him up by his arm. He struggled a bit as the man dragged him out the door and across the dirt towards the chicken coop-only to realize that Hakuro was just too strong...

He was anxious with dread as he reached the wire fence that made up the wooden chicken coop. Opening the door with a creek, Hakuro hung back from entering and held Roppi firmly in the doorway. Roppi winced at the volume of the chickens' furious squacks and the scratching of sharp talons on wood. They were congregated at the center of the small shack, in a rather large pile and fighting and pecking at something hidden in the dark. He squinted hard, but the flurry of feathers combined with the stains of blood obscured his vision.

...

Wait...

Blood?

Hakuro flicked an old switch and light revealed the gorethat lay within the shadows. Blood was splattered on the walls and wood floors, white feathers were splattered with blood and stringy red flesh along with the yellow flecks of grain hung from sharp beaks. A distant bark of a dog startled the birds into scattered slightly, but they refused to leave their feast.

Their "feast" was clearly visible, yet Roppi wished the gory image would just go away...

Kanra lay facedown on the wooden planks, her head turned towards the door giving him a clear view of her face. She was stripped down to nothing, and belts were strapped over her and nailed to the floor to prevent her escape. Chicken feed had been scattered on her back-drawing the birds in like a moth to light. Bloody pock marks and tears in her pale skin littered her body, and someone had driven iron nails into each of her finger joints, making her swollen hands like demented pin cushions. Her leg had clearly been broken in the fall, the sickening white sheen of pone poking out of bloody flesh.

Dull red eyes locked onto Roppi's and then...he heard it...whispered ever so weakly and yet ever so clearly...

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

A stray chicken flew over to her face and began to furiously peck at the tender skin. Roppi heard a nauseating squelch and the bird moved aside to reveal an empty eye socket where Kanra's right eyes used to be. Blood and chucky fluid leaked over her face and yet she continued speaking undaunted.

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

...

Roppi screamed.

* * *

Heheheh...yeah...I'm so fucked up...to think I'm acutally a really happy person...who just writes really gory stuff...fuck...

Also, if you haven't noticed by now...this part of the story follows Takano's past from Higurashi almost exactly...yeah...sorry for the late update


	8. Chapter 8

The song to listen to is **"Not in blood, but in bond" from the first sherlock holmes movie soundtrack**

Thank you for your suggestions-as you can see I changed the genre to Horror/Hurt/Comfort! Thanks a bunch.

**The poems in this story belong to me**

**WARNING!** This chapter is filled to the brim with gore...

* * *

Blackened hands do satisfy,

The charcoal that embodies me,

For when the wind will cease to stir,

The seagulls will no longer fly,

The sea foam turns a bubbling green,

My heart is but a dying tree,

* * *

Roppi's world was black...

He was floating in black space, his feet resting on invisible ground.

_My body...my body feels hot...what...what is going on?_

Suddenly, the world turned bright around him-he was back in the orphanage. However, he was no longer in the chicken coop. He found himself in the room where they would examine the orphans for symptoms of S-983...

Except this time the room was on fire.

Tongues of flame lapped at the walls and consumed the floorboards. Roppi yelped when a large beam fell, showering him in buring embers. He stumbled back in fear, only to trip over something and land on his arse.

"W-Wha?"

He rubbed his head where he had hit it on a crate and squinted through the acrid smoke to see what he had tripped on.

...It was a child...

Roppi bolted up and looked around the burning room wildly.

How could he have not noticed them?

Not noticed the bodies?!

Orphans lay sprawled around the room, scattered and crumpled like broken dolls. His pupils dialated when he caught sight of an arm sticking out from under the beam.

All the children were dead-some torn apart. Throats were slit, head decapitated, neck snapped, limbs yanked until they detached from the socket...

He quickly bolted out into the hallway, narrowly missing a chunk of blazing cieling.

The carnage he discovered made him gag.

Intestines hung from coat racks, hearts and other internal organs scattered all over the planks like squished blobs, blood was smeared on the walls and bones lay everwhere. There was not a single corpse intact, instead the victims looked like they had been blown apart.

Roppi noticed something on the floor, and paled.

It was the Bogmertv insignia...

_These...these are the guards?_

He felt a surge of happiness and satisfaction, the bastards deserve what they got...

He gasped at his thoughts and shook his head violently, _what is with me?! This isn't like me! This isn't me! This isn't..._

He caught sight of himself in a mirror that hung crooked and blood splattered on the wall.

...

He was covered head to toe in blood and guts.

...

His felt dizzy instantly, and stumbled to the side in shock. Blood rang in his ears and his mind was frozen. His breath came out in quick gasps and his chest was tight. He frantically sprinted down the hallway in a panic. Tears beaded at the corners of his eyes, _what's going on!? I don't understand! Everyone's dead?! Am I the only one alive?! _

His blood ran cold.

_Miles...where's Miles?! _

Pivoting on a dime, he ran back toward's his bedroom.

"Miles! Miles! Miles are you okay?! Mi-"

He froze in the doorway.

"N-No..."

Miles lay face down on the floor, blood pooling around his head and torso. Roppi could see a large gash...cuting Miles in half from the waist down...

Roppi couldn't look anymore, and fled the room and down the hallway in terror.

He headed to the thankfully open door at the end of the corridor, momentarily pausing to examine the door...it had been torn clear off it's hinges and lay near the chicken coop door.

Roppi let out a choked cry, "K-Kanra!"

How could he have forgotten her?

...

The wire mesh that surrounded the shack was a mere film of shredded metal now, inside the coop the chickens looked like they had been torn apart and flung all over the place. Feathers strewn across the blood soaked wood like leaves on water.

Kanra was just like he saw her last.

Except that her heart had stopped...Kanra was dead.

Her single eyes stared at the door frame blankly, filmed over with a thin coat of death.

Hakuro was nowhere to be seen.

...

Roppi ran.

* * *

He could hear the faint sounds of fire trucks in the distance, already at the orphanage-or what was left of it. The fire had spread quickly after Roppi high tailed it into the woods, the fire had spread to the chicken coop and burned it down instantly.

Even the main buildings were nothing but ashes and debris.

Roppi was mildly surprised that the bastards actually installed smoke detectors-only to realize that they probably hadn't and that the fire department merely saw the high stack of black smoke that rose into the sky and erased the sun.

It was dawn.

That meant that Izaya was missing a night.

What had happened?

He had been unconscious for at least a few hours...but who had set the orphange on fire? Who had killed everyone? Why was he the only survivor...?

...

Trees past him at a dizzying speed, and he began to notice things that he hadn't before.

He could _smell_ the river that was a few miles away, he could _hear_ a rabbit as it scuffled from its den, and he could _feel_ his muscles working harder than before-propelling him foward as a speed that no normal human should be able to reach...

He skidded to a halt and was caught off guard when the momentum caught up to him and he was sent tumbling down a grassy hill and into a small stream.

He lay in the water for a moment, relishing the way the grim and blood washed out from his hair and skin.

His mind was a mess, he couldn't get a single thought figured out...he decided he could wait to figure out what the hell was happening to him later.

First he needed to find food: he was hungry all the time due to his abnormally fast metabolism and the fact that the meals at Bogmertv were hardly more than crumbs and dirty water.

* * *

The gas station on the horizon was like a beacon of hope for Roppi. The sun was slowly waking up and the highway was devoid of life.

Bogmertv was an orphange nestled in a wood-far from the city. A highway lay a few miles away, winding through the countryside plains towards the cities far beyond. He tried to ignore the fact that he had run so fast that he had traveled four miles in a manner of fifteen minutes...

There was only one car parked at the old gas station, a cream colored Honda. Roppi snuck next to the car and peaked over the trunk. He could see the shadows of some people in the car, but the person in the front seat was missing. A jingle of the front door of the gas station store made Roppi jump. Without thinking, he popped open the thankfully unlock trunk, and hopped inside.

* * *

Thank you for your wonderful reveiws! Thank you for all your support! Please keep reviewing-it motivates me and makes me write faster!


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, we recently had to put my dog down and so I've been kinda depressed. Anyway, the soundtrack for this chapter is **"You Found Me" by The Fray**, enjoy!

* * *

Shizuo was in shock...and incredibly claustrophobic.

When Roppi crawled into the trunk, by some bizarre reasoning that Shizuo had yet to figure out, Shizuo had immediately crawled in after him.

He regretted his decision immensly.

The trunk was cramped already, Roppi had to curl on his side to fit. Shizuo even more so.

Shizuo couldn't take his eyes off Roppi's frightened crimson as the boy bit his lip in worry as a woman's muffled voice came nearer to the car. There was a pause and then distinctive sound of a car door closing and a jerk of the car as the engine started. Shizuo winced at the sheer volume of the roar of the car and watched as Roppi let out a sigh of relief when the car began to pull out of the gas station.

Shizuo could hear the muffled blare of music, children and adults arguing, and of course the roar of the engine. He watched as Roppi quickly fell asleep to the rhythm of the car.

Shizuo used the time to think.

_Roppi...my God his childhood's been so fucked up...and Kanra...Roppi lost his sister and his friends in such a horrible way...he was tortured and raped...but...what happened back there? Who destroyed the orphanage? I could only see dark because Izaya was unconcious...and when he was running...he was running so fast...his hearing and senses were more advanced...he...it must have been the injection...he must have had a delayed reaction...Kanra's death must have triggered it...I...I have a horrible feeling that Roppi was the one to killed everyone...it would explain-_

A quiet sob brought Shizuo's attention to a now trembling Roppi. He had wrapped his arms around his stomach and curled impossibly tighter into a ball as he sobbed in his sleep. Shizuo felt a stab of pity. Roppi had not once cried throughout the entire time he spent at the orphanage. No matter what those bastards had done to him, no matter what...Roppi never cried. Shizuo could only watch silently as the child sobbed violently, the sound masked by the engine and the dull sound of music.

In the trunk of a car traveling across Japan, Roppi cried out his heart.

* * *

When the car came to a stop, it had been an exactly four hours, twenty two minutes, and fifty eight seconds trip according to Shizuo's rather expensive water proof watch that Kasuka had gotten him for his birthday. Roppi held his breath as the people got out of the car, praying that they had nothing they had to get out of the trunk.

Thankfully they didn't.

Roppi waited for around ten minutes until everything was quiet, before slowly popping open the trunk and climbing out. The child took a second to survey his surroundings: he was in a neighborhood, a nice one by the looks of it, with high white fences and trimmed green bushes. Roppi immediately ran over to the fence closest to him and without thinking, climbed over the thing easily. He was seriously freaking out about his new abilties, but he didn't have time to worry about it.

The backyard was rather small, a grassy area with a large oak tree, a big red slide by some large bushes, a sandbox, a swing, and a red tilled patio that led to large sliding glass doors to the small two story cream-colored house. The yard was surrounded by high fence on three sides, the house creating the fourth wall. Roppi gasped at the sound of children's voices and immediately bolted to the safety inside the bushes by the slide that rested against the fence opposite the patio.

Shizuo walking through the fence , grimacing at the wierd feeling of passing through something, and stood by the oak tree.

Suddenly the glass doors slid open and a young brunette around Roppi's age came bounding out onto the patio. He wore a bright red shirt and brown shorts with white sneakers. Brown eyes twinkled with amusement as he dragged a stoic younger blackette behind him.

Shizuo couldn't belive his eyes.

It was him.

It was Shizuo.

* * *

He held his breath as the past him pranced over to the swing and tried to coax his unwilling little brother.

_I knew this neighborhood was familiar! This...This was my house when I was a kid- I remember that car ride too! _

Shizuo glared at his father's headrest with a rather defeated pout. "I don't see why a forest fire had to stop us from visiting our cousins!" Kichirou Heiwajima sighed and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "Because, Shizuo, it was way too close to the highway and smoke isn't healthy to breathe. Besides-I have a surprise for you and Kasuka when you get home!" Shizuo brightened up almost instantly, "Really?!" He turned to his brother and proceeded to have a one-sided conversation about what it could be. Meanwhile,Namiko Heiwajima was in the coneinience store purchasing some snacks for the ride home when a dark blur caught her attention. Turning back to where her car was, she could have swore she saw the trunk close...

By the time she got back into the car, her family had already started arguing over the radio. _Ahh...my boys..._

Fifteen minutes into the drive, arguments having calmed down after the radio had been turned _off_, Shizuo peeked out the window with wide eyes. "Kasuka look! The smoke from the fire!" Sure enough, dark smoke billowed high into the sky, the sheer density and girth of the cloud enough to block a portion of the sun.

Shizuo was convinced it was his imagination, but he could swear he heard someone let out a quiet sob...

Roppi couldn't move from his hiding place in the bushes for fear of being seen by the two boys. So there he was, crouched in the dirt with cramping limbs and a hungry stomach, watching the two strange kids play around with what apparently was a new swing for over two hours. He found himself dosing off when the sun was beginning to set, only to be jolted awake by the sound of a woman's voice.

"Shizuo! Kasuka! Come inside for dinner!"

Crimson eyes watched as the two boys shuffled dejectedly inside the house and was finally able to let out a breath of relief.

Great, now I can get out of here-

A rumbling stomach stopped his thoughts.

"Shit..." The young boy clutched his stomach in pain as the telltale scratching of hunger raked the inside of his stomach. He struggled to stand from the bushes and found that he could only staggered across the yard, unconsciously draw to the window next to the patio door. A single lamp illuminated the doorframe, like a beacon of hope for Roppi. He knelt just beneath the window beside it and held his breath.

Sounds of laughter and the clinking of silverware on china plate caught his attention, and he soon found himself peeking over the sill with anxious eyes. He could see the happy family sitting at their rather large dinner table, enthusiastically eating their meal while exchanging funny stories.

He bit his lip, _what the hell am I doing here? I should be looking for something to eat, not spying on a family eating dinner like a freak. Although I did stow away in their trunk, that's as creepy as it gets...maybe...maybe I could steal some of their dinner and make a break for it?_

He crouched back down to the dirt with a sigh.

"Ridiculous...I'm being ridiculous...but...I'm so _hungry_ and their food looks so _good_..."

Roppi buried his face in his knees with a whimper, "Pathetic...I'm so pathetic..."

Shizuo watched the trembling boy with sad eyes, "No, you're not pathetic...you're everything but pathetic..."

He could remember that meal of microwaved macaroni and cheese because they hadn't bought groceries-thinking that they were going to spend two days with his cousins. Nothing special, just crappy macaroni and cheese from a box...but considering the shit they had feed Roppi, something like that must look like a feast to him.

Shizuo slowly made his way over to the shivering boy and sat down next to him.

He paused a moment before speaking, looking up at the stars that brightly littered the sky like freckles. "Dammit flea...I...I never knew you had such a shit childhood...not that I ever thought about it, of course...after all you've been through...heh, no wonder you're so fucked up..."

The next twenty minutes passed with Roppi shivering in his skin while Shizuo calmly smoked the cigarette he recently found he was able to smoke. The night air chilled the young raven's bones and he curled bare feet in discomfort.

_I can hear them...I can hear everything...every word and breath...every clink of plate and scrape of chairs on wood floors...I feel more alive than ever...I can run faster and farther without getting very tired...and I can see things well out of range...this is crazy...I...I'm not the same person I used to be...I...I'm angry and spiteful...and sad...very sad...but I can't die here...I can't let everyone's deaths be in vain...I have to live...even if it's not for me...I have to live for Kanra and the others...I have to live for someone...someone..._

Shizuo stiffened when the boy's thoughts reached his mind, he could feel the emotions behind the words...such sadness and pain...it made his chest hurt...but why? Even though he knew about Iza-Roppi's past, it didn't change the fact that he hated him, right? But why him? Why out of all people would Roppi choose to show Shizuo these memories? It was freaky enough that apparently the flea was around him long before when they had supposedly first met in school...was there something more? What was Roppi trying to tell him?

Roppi winced at the sound of squeaking metal and rushing water. Curiosity got the better of him and he found himself peering over into the window. There was a flash of light that bounced off a dinner platter, and Roppi realized in horror that the window was right above the sink...and that someone was currently washing the dishing.

Surprised mocha eyes met frightened crimson.

* * *

Roppi felt like a deer in the headlights, caught between a rock and a hard place. The brunette with the too-bright mocha eyes just stared back, probably only able to see his eyes through the glare of the window. They stared at each other for what felt like ages, before the taller of the two gave a yelp and dropped the dish he was washing back into the soap water. "M-Mom!" Roppi took that as his cue to flee back to the safety of the bushes across the yard by the slide. He tried to make himself invisible in the scratchy leaves, praying that the porch door wouldn't swing open and that he wouldn't be found.

That he wouldn't be sent back to another "orphanage".

He could hear the family of four talking, well, the brunette seemed more animate about the subject than his parents or siblings. Actually, he kept on referring to Roppi as a dog..._huh, this could work..._

"Mom! Let's feed her!"

Roppi frowned at the feminine reference, _my eyes aren't that girly...right?_

"Shizuo, dear, we can't just go and feed her...she could have rabies...are we even sure it's a dog?"

"It looked too big to be a cat! It's a dog!"

"Nii-san, why a girl dog?"

"Because it's eyes were pretty!"

Now Roppi was blushing, _dammit...this boy is just too much..._

"What do you think we should do, dear?"

"Hmm...why don't you go set out some food and water tonight by the window, and I'll call Animal Control tomorrow? How does that sound?"

Roppi's mouth watered at the mention of food,_ yes yes yes that sounds great just please please please bring me anything I'll even eat shoes at this point just give me something!_

He could hear a cry of triumph from the young boy, who he now knew as Shizuo, as he ran to fetch something from the kitchen. He bristled when the brunette came bounding out the door and over to the window where Roppi had previously sat. He prayed that it was too dark for the boy to spot his footprints in the dirt, he made a mental note to wipe them away in the morning. The scent of raw meat met his nose and he winced when he heard his stomach growl. How he hoped that Shizuo didn't hear it...

"I brought you some raw steak from our freezer-I warmed it a bit in the microwave! Don't tell mom, though! I got you some water too! C'mon out and eat girl!"

_Baka...what animal would come out when you're so loud..._

Ten minutes passed by with Shizuo sitting dejectedly on the brick patio step, and Roppi practically starving to death in the bushes.

_Go away go away go away so I can eat!_

"C'mon honey! It's time for bed!"

"But mom~!"

"No butts! She won't eat if you're out there!"

Roppi froze when Shizuo stole a glance at the bushes that concealed him. Shizuo pouted, he could swear he had heard a growl earlier...

Roppi waited in the bushes until all the lights in the house turned off, and he was sure that the entire family was asleep. After about a half an hour, and deeming it safe, Roppi darted over to the window and practically crashed into the side of the house in his haste. With feverish hands he snatched the steak from the paper bowl and litterally wolfed it down. He knew that the raw meat would no doubt make him sick the next day, but he was so hungry that he hardly cared. The meat was around a foot long, more food than he had eaten in three months. Meals at Bogmertv were once a day, and consisted of a stale loaf of bread, luke warm water, and whatever scraps the staff deemed digusting.

Most people would gag at the slimy meat, but Roppi wasn't like most people. Living in Bogmertv made him tough, he wasn't one to complain. On the contrary, as he stomach was being filled and his hunger slowly fading, thin streams of happy tears leaked from the corners of his eyes. He was practically wearing rags, bloody bare feet, a thin child of skin and bones, a fiery spirit that refused to be snuffed. He wouldn't die. He would live on-even if it wasn't for his own sake. He would live for Kanra, for all the orphans who lost their chance at life...he'd atone for his sins...

Roppi wasn't stupid. He knew that he was covered in blood for a reason. He knew that he was the only one alive for a reason. He wouldn't say it out right, but he knew.

He knew he had killed everyone.

He assumed it was because of the injection, perhaps it just took a litle longer to kick in? Maybe it just "woke up" when he saw Kanra die? He would never know. What he did know was that something inside him had changed. He was no longer the same Roppi Hachimen he used to be. He could feel emotions that he never had before eating him alive. Hate, rage, pure fury bubbled up in his blood and made him naseous. When he ran from the fire he had run faster than a car. He could hear and see things that normal people wouldn't be able to because of the range of the human ear and eyesight. He was thin and bony, yet he could feel the power beneath his pale skin.

He could feel the rage.

Meat practically swallowed whole, he gulped down the water in the other bowl like a madman. Feeling the cool liquid sooth his burning throat made him cry even more-causing him to almost choke several times. He was happy, so very happy. He felt more alive than ever, the simple meal-unfit for a human being and demeaning to any man, was enough to make him cry with relief.

He had to restrain himself from licking the bowl, trying to keep at least a shred of dignity. He set down the plates in silence and wiped the stinging tears from his burning etes. He already felt his body begin to break down the steak, his eyes and limbs growing heavy with sleep. Unimaginable exhaustion had finally caught up to him, ensnaring him and tempting him to drop right there. He had to literally crawl across the yard back to the bushes, collapsing into a mess of decaying leaves and dirt. He could care less that he was covered in filth, he had lived in it for what seemd like forever. He would worry about tomorrow when tomorrow finally came.

For now, he would rest.

As his eyes slowly fell shut, his mind no longer able to run, he allowed himself a soft smile and a whisper.

"God bless you, Shizuo."

* * *

**I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed and commented about my dog. It means a lot. BTW, to one of my anonymous reviewers (you know who you are), I'm actually planning on writing and publishing EIGHT BOOKS. I've already started one of them.**

**I took one of the plots and mutated so I could make it into a hetalia fanfiction, because I couldn't wait to write down my ideas. If you want a taste of gore and the supernatural, check out "A Song of Sixpence".**

**Also, just so you know, my ocs- the ones in the van-are certain characters in my actual books, just taken out of context, changed names, and species. So basically they just have the same personalities and looks.**

**Yeah, I think that's it...**

Sorry 'bout the delay...please review...


	10. Chapter 10

The soundtrack to this chapter is **"Mad World" by Gary Jules.**

Bold = dream

Italics = thoughts

_**Also, all these poems were written by ME**_

* * *

**Hands.**

**Strange, cold, unwanted hands made filthy trails along pale skin. Marking him, making him dirty. Those hands, too many to count, had tied his own behind his back, cramping his shoulders and making his back hurt. Sharp blades made wicked designs on the already scarred chest. A deep chuckle that never ceased to make him shiver rang through the darkness, the black that surrounded him caused by the rag around his eyes.**

**"My little raven...you're so cute..."**

**He felt his heart race when someone reached for his pants. He knew what was coming, he was used to it by then. He refused to apologize, instead retreating into the safety of his mind-not fighting them but not giving in. He tried to think of happier times, when Kanra still smiled. He struggled to remember his parent's faces, but for some horrible reason he couldn't picture them, leaving their faces a blurry white. He briefly wondered how long he had been in Bogmertv. Months? Years? Did it even matter? If he and Kanra didn't leave soon, they would surely die. Although, Kanra already acted like she was dead.**

**Like she had died the second the elevator cable had snapped.**

* * *

Roppi jolted awake to the sound of voices.

"Mom! She ate the meat!"

"What meat?"

"Uh...well..."

"Oh Shizuo you didn't! I was going to make that steak for dinner tonight!"

"I-It's not like you don't have three others! I'll just eat something else...besides, she ate everything so she must've been really hungry..."

"...Alright...but ask me first next time, okay?"

"Okay!"

Roppi smiled softly at the boy's lighthearted voice. He seemed like a nice boy, at least when he wasn't yelling about something. The enthusiasm he showed towards feeding a stray animal was rather endearing, and Roppi couldn't help but smile at the heartwarming gesture. If only Shizuo knew what that gesture meant to him, that it had saved his life. He owed Shizuo his life.

Then he heard his father say something he most definitely did not want to hear.

"I called Animal Control, they'll be here in ten minutes."

_Shit shit shit! Okay, I have to sneak out of here somehow..._

He found that his muscles were cramped and he could hear his bones creak when he tried to sit up in the bushes. The hunger was back and gnawed at his insides, but nowhere near as badly as the night before. Peeking his head out of the bushes away from the house, facing the fence, he looked up and saw that the sun was high in the sky.

_This is bad..._

Forcing himself to not look back, not even to see if anyone was watching, he leaped straight up and gripped the white fence with calloused hands. With a single heave he was able to lift himself over the top and land on all fours on the sidewalk like a cat. He winced at the jarring of bones, but kept himself alert. He knew he was in bad shape, looking like a street rat with all the dirt and shredded clothes. He had washed off the blood from his skin, but he still looked like a madman.

"First I should find out what day it is...find out how long I've been away...",he muttered to himself as he stood and brushed himself off. Taking a look around he found that the neighborhood was quaint, it looked like something out of a magazine: neat and uniform. He suddenly felt ashamed, as if he didn't fit in such a clean place.

After all, he was so tainted...

There were a few people walking around, none of which saw his gravity defying leap up a ten-foot high fence and drop down unharmed. As he made his way down the sidewalk, bearing the glances and nervous whispers sent his way. A mother shied her young daughter in the opposite direction, Roppi resisted the urge to sigh.

He started to jog lightly, uncomfortable with the amount of stares he was receiving. The sidewalk was burning hot under his bare feet, the sun heating it and distorting the air above it to create mirages of water that were but illusions. He hadn't been in the company of "normal" people in so long, especially adults.

A newstand caught his eye, bright yellow and rather large. He dashed across the empty road to it and quickly peered through the dirty glass to check the date.

He choked on air.

**_March 19th 1997_**

_Two years?! I've been gone for TWO YEARS?! That means I'm twelve now...THIS IS CRAZY!_

Mind spinning and stomach churning, Roppi ran.

He ran far and fast, not caring who saw him. Trees, people, roads, buildings-he ducked through alleyways and leaped over fences with ease.

He was scared.

He was angry.

...

He was lost.

...

"Oh fuck..."

* * *

An abandoned cram school.

Roppi was in awe at the amount of furnishing and books that still took up residence in the dusty classrooms. A library stocked with books on every subject, broken computers that lacked power, rooms piled high with just desks, empty rust-colored lockers, flooded hallways and clogged toilets. Stripes of sunlight came in from cracked windows and missing ceiling tiles.

Nature had taken over the cram school, plants of all kinds weaved and wrapped themselves around book shelves and fire exits. The air was a mix of so many scents-he couldn't discern a single one. Every now and then Roppi would hear a car pass by, water drip from a broken pipe, or a bird tweet from somewhere inside the building.

Roppi made his way to the library and plopped down on a dusty couch. It was slightly ripped and probably covered in mites, but he could hardly care less. The springs were still there and he relished the feeling of being on the corduroy cushions. There were books shelves surrounding him and loose texts strewn around the rather spacious room.

A line of computers, screens busted in and some entirely missing, sat in a perfect row in from of three large unbroken windows that let in an enormous amount of light. The sunlight combined with the dampness of the air was heavenly to him, and he soon found himself drifting off into a deep slumber.

Nightmares did not spare him.

* * *

**Falling through darkness without a bottom and without a purpose, Roppi was falling to his inevitable death. He could hear laughter around him-deep chuckles and strange giggles that made him ill. Despite the rate at which he was falling, there was no rush of wind or fluttering of clothes. He could only see his arms and legs-he was the only colored thing in the world of dark. **

**"Sweet little Roppi...why won't you apologize to me? You've been a bad boy...bad boys must be punished..."**

**Roppi knew that voice all too well, the voice of the man who haunted him day and night.**

_**Hakuro Chimamireina**_

**"Does it hurt, my little raven?"**

_**That fucking bastard...**_

**"Kanra wanted you to save her, you know? So why did you let her die, Roppi? That's not very brotherly of you..."**

**"SHUT UP!"**

**Suddenly he felt something grab his ankles and he looked down in surprise. Thin spider-like finger wrapped around his ankles, pale arms that connected to a scarred bare female torso, jet black filthy hair hung like ropes around a sullen ashen face that was pocked with bloody holes, a single crimson eye looked up at him in what could only described as sadness. The other eye was nowhere to be seen, instead replaced with empty blackness that oozed out something yellowish and bloody down her face.**

**It was Kanra.**

**It was how Kanra looked before she died.**

**"You let me die, brother..."**

**"Wha-?"**

**"You left me to die...why didn't you save me...brother?"**

**"N-No i-it w-wasn't like that!"**

**"You wanted me to die...didn't you? You were sick and tired of caring for me. I just hung onto to you and depended on you all the time...you wanted me to die so you could be free..."**

**Tears welled up in his eyes and he struggled futilely to free himself. **

**"No! S-Stop it! I d-didn't-I never-!"**

**"Are you happy? Are you happy now...Roppi?"**

**Suddenly the grip on his ankles loosen, and those pin cushion hands slipped from his legs-Kanra falling down into the darkness below.**

**"KANRA!"**

* * *

They say that we are puppets on strings

Our master so high out of reach that we don't even know what he looks like

The strings he uses to command us are like links of a chain

We will never break free from their hold

We are just there for the amusement of the crowd

Soon we will be put away into a box in the corner

Collecting dust and soon forgotten

We, the puppets on strings

* * *

For the next week and a half, Roppi followed a strict routine.

Morning: he would catch a stray cat (he found he had developed a bizarre hatred for them) and have it for breakfast, he'd start a small fire using some loose paper to cook, and would read a book in the meantime.

Afternoon: Roppi didn't want to get spotted by anyone, so he stayed inside the cram school until dusk and either read books or explored the nooks and crannies of the school.

Night: now, he was happiest during this time-less people on the streets and less likely to get caught. He enjoyed exploring the city he now identified as Sugamo, a neighborhood in Toshima, Tokyo. He would run across the large bridge that spanned over a dried up river, careful not to fall down into the trench. He also enjoyed watching Shizuo play in his backyard. Call it what you will, stalking or spying like a creeper, he was content in watching the young brunette play in the grass with his brother or just take a nap on the porch. Roppi always stayed in either the bushes by the slide or in the large oak tree. Shizuo would never see him, never know that the boy who owed him his life was hiding just a few feet away. But Roppi was happy, content with this routine.

Until Shizuo Heiwajima went missing.

* * *

**ATTENTION!**

You might have noticed that I edited a few things in previous chapters.

1. Izaya lost his **right eye**, not his left. I went back and changed it to his right eye.

2. Shizuo and Izaya are both **currently 25, so the current year is also 2010**

3. I changed the knife that Izaya threatened Mairu with to a kitchen knife because he actually** doesn't have his switchblade with him**. This will be revealed why later on.

Also, I noticed something really cool but kinda creepy-IZAYA HAS THE **SAME BIRTHDAY AS ME** 0.0


	11. Chapter 11

Alright everyone this is the chapter where the story really starts moving!

Soundtrack to this chapter is "**Requiem for the Lost Ones" Bleach Ost 1**

* * *

A shrill scream startled Roppi from his nap in the bushes. The hairs on his neck prickled at the woman's cry, the sound unearthing unpleasant memories. It was just growing light, the sun barely peaking above the horizon. On rare occasions, like this one, he would sleep in the Heiwajima's backyard in the same bushes he always was in. Partly it was because Shizuo set out food and water every night, an easy meal for Roppi, and the other was because...well, he was lonely. However, last night Shizuo didn't come outside to feed "Maya". _Actually Shizuo didn't come out to play in the yard at all yesterday... _

Curiosity and anxiety got the best of him, and he found himself sneaking towards the window to the kitchen in order to get a better look. He heard the rapid sound of footsteps as someone bolted down the stairs and Shizuo's mother came barreling into the living room where her startled husband and Kasuka stood.

"Namiko! What's wrong?!"

"Shizuo's gone!"

"What?!"

"He's gone! I thought he went to bed early last night and that's why we didn't see him, but he's not there! I don't think he came home at all yesterday!"

"Calm down Namiko, we'll figure this out. Maybe he went to a friend's house and stayed over?"

"He would have called us! You know that!"

Roppi's blood ran cold and he sagged down the side of the house. _Shizuo's...missing?_

"Nii-san said he was was coming home at 8:00 after his walk...I didn't realize he hadn't come back..."

"Namiko, call the neighbors and tell them about this-I'll call authorities."

Roppi squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip, _I should've sensed something was wrong when I didn't see him yesterday...I should've know... _

Crimson eyes snapped open, hardened in determination.

_I'll find him...no matter what..._

* * *

Thin legs propelled down the pavement at a dizzying speed. He kept to the back alleys and sewage tunnels as he headed towards the cram school. "I'll start there and work backwards."

His heart beat wildly in his chest, and he ignored the dull ache of his muscles. "If I get to the cram school," he huffed to no one in particular, "I'll have crossed half the city, more than enough ground for him to get lost in. Working backwards can help me find him faster."

When he reached the building the afternoon sky was already turning dark with thick gray clouds. "Fuck, it's gonna rain soon...I need to find Shizuo before then..." Even though he was in a hurry, and the possibility that Shizuo was actually in the cram school was slim to nonexistent he still scoured the building within an inch of his life. While he was methodically checking each of the stalls in one of the many boy's bathrooms on the third floor, he heard someone talking.

"Dude! This is perfect! You got the matches ready?"

"Yeah bro, right here."

"Hey, Tomi, do you really think we should burn it down?"

"Why not, man? It'll be awesome!"

"What if some homeless person lives here?"

"They'll get out if they know what's good for them. So, boys, let's light her up!"

Roppi's blood ran cold, one of the things he found with his new "super hearing" was that he could hear things from three floors below him. Soon he could smell the dizzying scent of gasoline as one of the three idiots poured it all over the first floor. Without a second thought, Roppi abandoned his search of the bathrooms and bolted down the hall to the stairway. He was halfway down the stairs to the first floor when he heard a shout.

"Shit! It's lit man! Let's get outta here!"

A groan of wooden beams straining under the weight as flames shot up from the floor. They lapped at the walls and flooded the cram school with light and smoke. Roppi shielded his eyes from the heat and busted his way through a locked door to the library. The shelves were alight with flame, the fire had taken quickly. Roppi made a move to the broken windows above the computers, narrowly avoiding a flaming bookshelf.

Images he had subconsciously locked away clawed their way to the surface of his memory.

_Flames licked at his hands, but he felt it not as he tore away the door from it's hinges. A pair of hands roughly gripped his shoulders, but he easily knocked his head back and broke the man's nose. He ignored the warmth of the man's blood sinking into his scalp, and he ignored the howl of pain. A beam fell to the right of him and he barely caught sight of a frighten face before the child was engulfed in flame. _

A searing pain in his left calf tore him from his memories. Falling glass had ripped a gash in his leg. Blood gushed down his skin in torrents, but he forced himself to climb through the window. He landed on the dirt outside with a grunt and then off he went, sprinting from the burning building like a mad man. He glanced back briefly at the end of the block at the slowly burning cram school, illuminating the darkening skies.

The clouds were heavy with water, and he could feel it in the air that it was going to rain soon. The sounds of sirens closing in sent him barreling into an alley and back to his search of the brunette boy.

He checked in churches and restaurants, snuck into private residences and even attempted to scale the side of an apartment complex. The sky let loose its contents as soon as Roppi reached the park, water drenching the poor orphan. The shower wasn't light, but he knew it would get even worse soon.

He took refuge in the tunnel by the swing set in the playground. Panting and dripping wet, Roppi examined the wound on his leg: it was a few centimeters deep and hadn't completely stopped bleeding. His feet were torn up even more from all the running, he made a mental note to steal at least some socks soon. He tore the hem of his pant leg and tied it around his calf tightly.

"This is getting me nowhere...I can't even find a single clue to where he...is..."

He felt his heart skip a beat when he saw the sneaker lying on the wet sidewalk.

"Is that...?"

It was.

Shizuo's white and blue sneaker with the red and white striped shoelaces lay discarded on the ground.

_Of course..._

The sidewalk bordered the drained river that the bridge spanned over. Roppi quickly dashed over to the ledge and supressed a gasp. Shizuo lay about fifteen below in a crumpled heap, partially covered by the shadow of the bridge. The road was deserted so no one would notice him for a long time...

Roppi sucked in a breath at the angle that Shizuo lay and quickly slid down the slope. The boy looked a little worse for wear and digging his bleeding feet into the muddy gravel, Roppi hauled Shizuo's unconscious body under the bridge and out of the rain. He grit his teeth when he saw that the boy's skin was pale and littered with bruises and small cuts. He gently set down the boy on the dry rocks in order to examine the damage more thoroughly. It was clear that Shizuo had slipped, if the angle he was laying in and the cuts had any meaning. His clothes were slightly torn from the rocks and his skin was scraped badly. _He must've hit his head..._

He lightly brushed away damp brown locks to reveal a jagged gash.

_Shit..._

His breathing was shallow, his skin clammy, and he was trembling from the cold, but he was alive. Roppi, going by what he had overheard, realized that he had probably been like that since the night before.

_ If I don't get him to a hospital soon, he'll go into shock._

He quickly untied the binding on his leg and glanced at his wound. The bandage had soaked through with blood when he aggravated the wound in the fall and the cut itself had fully reopened. _I'll fix it later, right now he needs it more_. Ignoring the stinging pain in his calf, he retied the bloody cloth around the boy's head. Shizuo gave a groan of pain, making Roppi jump.

"W-Where am I?"

Unfocused brown eyes made contact with worried crimson, "Wh-Who are you?"

Roppi bit his lip, _don't get involved Roppi don't get involved..._

"I'm no one."

"T-There's n...no such thing as no one...y-you have to be s-someone..."

Roppi blinked and cracked a smile, _he's got a sense of humor..._

"Very well, then I'm Prince Hibiya."

"Oh...yeah, right...forgot about you...where's y-your horse, D-Delic?"

The raven frowned, _he's delirious...I have to get him to help soon..._

"In the stables back at my castle."

"Oh, okay..."

"Oi. Oi! Oi, Shizuo! Stay awake!"

"H-Hey...quiet down...'m trying to sleep..."

"I know you're tired, Shizuo, but you need to stay awake."

"B-But..."

"No buts, you need to stay awake for me, okay Shizuo?"

"H-How do you know my name?"

"I'm a prince, remember? I know all my subjects' names."

"Oh...right...why does my head hurt?"

"You fell out of a tree into my court. You should know better than to spy on me when I'm fencing, you could get hurt."

"Sorry..."

"It's okay, I'm nice to my subjects. Just wait and I'll get one of my servants to treat you."

"Okay...will you be there the whole time?"

Roppi froze, their little game getting the best of his emotions, and smiled sadly.

"Yes...I'll be there..."

Roppi looked behind him up the slope, _I don't think I can carry him up there even with my strength...I'll have to get the paramedics down here...but I can't just leave him here..._

"Listen, Shizuo..."

"Hmm?"

"I have to go for a moment to fetch my servants, will you be a good peasant and wait here for me?"

"Do I have to stay awake?"

"Yes, I'm afraid you'll have to."

"Okay...promise you'll stay with me?"

Roppi averted his eyes back to the slope with a clenched jaw, "I promise I'll stay with you..."

"Forever?"

Roppi gave a start and looked back at the boy, only to have hazy brown eyes looking up at him with what could only be described as innocent hope. Roppi forced himself to look away.

"Forever."

The treck up the slope was easier than he thought, escaping with a few slips and minimal cuts. Roppi was lost in thought as he jogged towards the nearest payphone.

_Wasn't there a time that I used to look like that? It's been so long...I can't remember..._

He quickly fished a coin from his pocket, having collected at least ten dollars in change from his various escapades throughout the city. He gave the address and situation in clip tones, wanting to get Shizuo to safety as soon as possible.

It took both the authorities and Shizuo's parents about fifteen minutes to get to the scene. Roppi made sure to hide behind a tree while they got to him. He watched as they lifted the boy up the slope on a stretcher with his mother wailing incoherently into her husband's shoulder. As Shizuo was loaded into the ambulance, Roppi could only hold his breath. The raven bit his lip and pressed his face into the bark with a whimper. Light tears spilled down flush cheeks and he gave a weak smile.

"Okay, Shizuo Heiwajima...I'll keep my promise, I'll stay with you forever...I'll live on for you..."

He wouldn't know until later, but that was the day that Roppi Hachimen forever ruined Shizuo Heiwajima's life...and yet it was also the day that he and the boy were forever bound on a journey to last a lifetime.

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Read and Review! Also, yes, I do intent to include all the alternates in one way or another. Also, I'm going to post up links to pictures on zerochan of certain scenes of this. At least what I based them on. Some might be gory so be wary of what you click.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: check previous chapters because I'm just too lazy to care

Sorry for the delay people, school work and falling in love with Evangelion got in the way!

**Soundtrack for this chapter is:** _"Teardrop" by Massive Attack_ (Yes...Yes it _is_ the opening song to House...).

* * *

Roppi realized it would be a problem if he tried to follow the ambulance to the hospital looking like he just crawled out of a dumpster. Night creeping closer by the minutes, Roppi knew he needed to act fast.

_First things first...I need to take a shower..._

He took the liberty of finding a superstore, right by the bridge, and slipped inside relatively unnoticed. It didn't take him long to find clothes that would fit him: a pair of gray cargo pants, a black long sleeve undershirt, a red short sleeve t-shirt, white socks and white tennis shoes. He snatched a pair of scissors from the supplies aisle, a black backpack, and miscellaneous items he shoved into the bag.

Quickly, but quietly, he snuck to the back of the store and into the employee bathroom. Closing the door with a small click he let out a sigh. Almost immediately he began to strip down to nothing. He kicked his wet clothes over to a corner of the bathroom and dropped the clean clothes on the toilet lid. Taking the blue plastic scissors in hand, he looked in the mirror and sucked in a breath.

"...that's...me?"

There were no mirrors in Bogmertv and for the past couple weeks Roppi had avoided every reflective surface he stumbled upon-trying in vain to put off the inevitable.

His hair had grown out to his shoulders, unkempt and filthy. His body was coated in a light layer of dirt, most of the mud had washed off in the rain, and there were dark circles under his eyes. The amount of scars on his body were horrific, he would have to always wear pants and long sleeves if he wanted to hide them. He brought a trembling hand up to his face and traced his right eye in astonishment, down to his lips, down his neck, and gripped his parent's rings tightly.

_...I had forgotten what I looked like..._

Snapping back into action, knowing that it was just a matter of time before someone needed to use the toilet, he took the scissors and began to attack the mess that was his hair. He decided to cut it back to the way it was before: short and easy to maintain.

Next he took the bar of soap and wash cloth from the backpack that he had snagged from the cleaning section and gave himself a mini shower in the sink, using paper towels to dry off. He took care of the rest of his hygiene: brushing his teeth, applying make up to cover the dark circles under his eyes and clipping/filing his nails with the other things he took from various shelves. The fresh clothes, tags removed, felt nice on his skin.

Taking another look in the mirror, you wouldn't have believed that just a while ago he looked like a horror from the sewers. Clean and ready to go, he threw away the paper towels and his old clothes in the trash, then left.

He took a quick detour through the store and collected any other things he might need, and then slipped out the back door unnoticed. He didn't need to worry about getting caught, after all he had basically given himself a complete makeover. He dashed down the corner and into an alleyway to check his inventory.

Toothbrush, toothpaste, hair brush, three bars of soap, a wash cloth, a nail file, three pairs of white socks, two pairs of black boxers, three water bottles, a bag of trail mix, a stick of gum, two pencils, three pens, a navy blue blanket, two pre-made ham and cheese sandwiches, and a journal. He went to work on a bottle of water and a sandwich right away.

Backpack and stomach filled, he made his way to the nearest bus stop. A group of school kids, high schoolers apparently, stood in a small huddled group by the stop sign.

"Hey, could you tell me where the hospital is?"

"Which one kid?"

He thought about it, realizing that he had no idea where Shizuo would be taken to.

"The nearest one."

"The closest hospital is three miles that way kiddo."

Roppi knew that even though three miles would be a piece of cake for him with his new powers, he didn't want to look out of place. A boy running faster than a car would surely look odd...

"Kay thanks...I'll just grab a taxi..."

He thanked God that the kids were distracted enough to not notice that he swiped three of their wallets...

* * *

It had been easy, after paying the taxi driver with those high schoolers' spare change, to sneak in the hospital without being caught. The security guards were fast asleep and to find Shizuo's room all he had to do was distract the front desk clerk while he went fishing through her computer.

It bothered him that he automatically knew how to hack into the patient files but chalked it up to one of the bizarre things that S-0983 had done to him. Strength, speed, intelligence, advanced senses, agility-what else had Hakuro done to him?

More importantly, _why_ was Hakuro doing this? What motive did that _fucker_ have for injecting kids with some type of super serum? Was he trying to make super soldiers? Was he just experimenting? What was that man's goal?

But he could ponder about that later, right now he knew where Shizuo was and needed to get there. Up three flights and down two doors, he heard the unmistakable voice of Mrs. Heiwajima...and she sounded _mad.._..

"How can my son's blood type just _change!_?"

"Mrs. Heiwajima, we have no idea how this happened-it's a medical anomaly!"

"Bullshit! Go back and check it again! You're machines must be faulty or some shit! What kind of doctor can't figure out something as simple as someone's blood type?!"

"Honey! Language!"

"Don't _honey_ me! These idiots have been giving Shizuo the wrong transfusions! He could get hurt!"

"Listen, please, we checked Shizuo's medical records and it indeed states that his blood type is AB, but when we took a blood sample it turned out to be O! We thought it was just a machine gone buggy-but we tested again and again on different machines and got the same results! Look, I'm Shizuo's doctor-he was here just six months ago for a blood test and I took care of that personally! I know what I saw-his blood type was AB! I don't know what's going on here-but whatever it is it's bizarre. I assure you, though, that the transfusions of O blood type are not hurting him-he lost a lot of blood from his head ...and his concussion is very severe. When he fell he hit his head, but thankfully he doesn't have any internal bleeding. We bandaged his head and gave him a full once over. He's got a few scrapes and bruises here and there-but other than his concussion he's fine. He's incredibly lucky-we got his body temperature back to normal and he's currently sleeping soundly. I suggest he stay in the hospital until he wakes up, and then maybe a day or two to make sure he's okay to go home."

"...Alright...but I still think you're a shitty doctor that doesn't know his arse from his elbow!"

"Honey _please_!"

Roppi peeked into the doorway and suppressed a smile at the irate mother berating the doctor while her husband flailed behind her in an attempt to distract her. Shaking his head in amusement he slipped away unseen into the next room where Shizuo slept soundly.

The white sheets contrasted sharply with Shizuo's healthy skin tone, something that made Roppi sigh in relief. He crept quietly next to Shizuo's heart monitor and frowned, _I hate these things...they're so annoying_...

Peering back at Shizuo he saw that the boy was sleeping peacefully. Roppi smiled softly, _It's strange to see him without all those angry lines...he actually looks...kinda cute when he's not mad..._ Meanwhile, the real Shizuo felt his face heat up slightly at the thought that floated into his head.

He reached out tentatively and brushed brown locks back from the white guaze wrapped around the boy's head.

He smiled sadly, "You're so lucky...so lucky to have parents to worry about you...and your brother...you have your brother...I...I'm happy that you can have a good life...but...but I envy you too...I have nothing...I don't have anyone anymore...but that's okay...I'll be fine...I think I'll be fine as long as I have you...I know you don't know me...I don't _want_ you to know me...I'll just ruin you...someone as kind as you shouldn't affiliate yourself with someone like me..._something_ like me...I'm a monster, a freak of nature...I don't _deserve_ to be your friend...so I'll just make sure you have a good life...I'll give you the life I'll never have...I'll watch from the shadows where creatures like me should stay...If I meet you...I'll destroy you...like the others...like Miles...like Kanra..."

Wet drop began to appear on the gauze and it took Roppi a moment to realize that they were tears. _His_ tears. He smiled wobbly and felt sobs choke his words.

"Oh Kanra...I'm _so sorry_...I failed you...I promised I'd keep you safe and I ended up killing you...and Miles...I killed Miles and those guards and everyone else I just _know it_...I'm not human...I'm a monster..."

Before could reign in his emotions, the clacking of high heels alerted him of someone coming. Quickly, opening it without even looking down to see if there were any bushes or anything, he hopped through the window and plummeted three floors down and landing on his feet like a cat. He barely felt anything, no force of impact or shattering of bones.

_ I really am a monster..._

* * *

"M-Mom! Mom come quick! Shizuo has a really high fever!"

"What?!"

"I thought the doctor said Shizuo was fine?!"

Roppi groaned as he was jerked from his nightmares were he lay sound asleep in the tree. He uncurled himself from his fetal position and stretched his sore muscles with a big yawn. He crawled out onto the branch that jutted out towards Shizuo's open bedroom window and winced when he heard his stiff joints pop.

As creepy and as stalkerish as Roppi felt, he was thankful that the branch overlooked Shizuo's bedroom, because that way he could watch the boy as he slept. He wasn't trying to be a stalker and he was in no way a pervert, but he found the boy fascinating. Maybe it was that he found Shizuo's happy life almost magical compared to his own, maybe not. Either way, he found joy in the little things about the boy.

Shizuo's room was of average size, with a twin sized dark blue bed with matching sheets and pillows. His walls were baby blue and he had a mahogany wardrobe opposite the window. A dresser was opposite his bed and held a variety of family photos. He noticed a toy chest underneathe the window sill, the plastic bronze one made to look like a treasure chest.

Roppi liked to watch as Shizuo played with the little cars and action figures, or run around the yard with Kasuka.

However, currently, one day after Shizuo's return from the hospital, the boy lay practically comatose in his bed. He had complained the night before of a headache and had gone straight to bed. Now Roppi could see why.

The boy had broken out in a sweat, his face flushed and breath heaving. Brown hair was matted to his forehead and his skin was sickly white.

His parents and Kasuka were at his bedside, obscuring most of Roppi's view. He was thankful that it was barely light outside, and that the leaves provided excellent camouflage.

The next few days Shizuo stayed in bed, his mother often at his side. Roppi was growing anxious from the fact that he could do nothing but watch Shizuo get steadily worse. Doctors came and went from the little house, but none could figure out what was wrong. Taking him to the hospital was recommended but Shizuo's family wasn't in a good economic position, and hospital stays were very expensive. The only thing they could do was wait and pray that Shizuo got better soon.

Shizuo was stuck in bed for a total of six days, but thankfully on the sixth he was well enough to go downstairs.

The Heiwajima's kitchen was small and quaint, with white and teal checkered tiles and white walls. The young brunette made a bee line for the fridge with a look of eager anticipation on his face. However, when he looked inside he immediately frowned.

All of a sudden Kasuka entered the kitchen, digging a spoon in a cup of chocolate pudding. Shizuo turned to his brother and felt his eye twitch, "That was the last pudding..."

"But...mom said I could have it..."

"That was my pudding..."

The boy slammed the door shut with more force than necessary but he didn't care at the moment. Gripping either side of the fridge with both hands, eyes blazing, he planted his feet firmly on the ground and _lifted_.

_"THAT WAS MY PUDDING!"_

The poor kitchen appliance gave way with a groan, and the boy lifted it off the ground like it was a paper weight. Kasuka dropped the pudding cup and spoon in shock and let out a yelp of fear.

Shizuo held the heavy thing over his head for a moment, struggling to remain steady. His brother stood frozen in fear in front of him, visibly trembling.

Roppi stood peering in the window of the sink with a look of horror plastered on his paling face.

"...What have I done?"

* * *

If you guys check it out, if you haven't already, I stopped naming the chapters and went back to just normal numbering-I felt that naming them just gave away stuff and that if I went back to the original numbering it would look more professional 0.0

**Do you like the new genres? Also, should I change the summary?**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer**: I own nine shelves of manga, thousands of dollars of merchandise, and enough anime to start my own convention, but alas...no rights to durarara!...*sad face*

**Chapter Soundtrack:** "Pieces" by Sum 41

Now, I know that it worked mostly with "The Four Faces of America" in the beginning and kept me on track, but I want to do this again (even though I said I'd stop) in order tao both keep me writing this (not that I'm going to stop-this is going to be a very long fic but I want to write it faster) faster and more efficiently, but to also get enough reviews to make this fic more popular

Yes people, I'm going to make review deadlines. I know many of you hate this and think I'm being pushy-I think so too, but I really want this fic to be more popular because I'm a writer and want to have more constructive criticism (I'm going to publish eight books after all) for my writing style, and also because I want more people to read this.

Flames will be met with more flames

**Next update: 130 reviews**

* * *

Roppi had never felt so dizzy in his life, and coming from a boy who had been hit on the head with a hammer more than once in the past two years, this was saying something.

The next month consisted solely of frantic trips to the hospital for broken bones from picking up something ridiculously heavy-be it a car or the stove. While Shizuo's parents were at a loss and doctors were stumped, Roppi was more nauseous than horrified. He knew he had done this to him, to the poor boy who had no clue what was going on. The doctors created some half assed explanation that his adrenaline was always running high so that his limits on strength were gone, but Roppi knew better. He knew why Shizuo blood type had suddenly changed to O -just like Roppi himself...it was because of when he bandaged the boy's head.

His blood must have seeped into the brunette's blood stream and somehow integrated S-0983 into his body. The fever was just like Roppi's own, except less severe and not as life threatening. Shizuo, thank _God_, had only gotten the bizarre strength aspect of the injection, and not anything else...even though Roppi didn't know what "anything else" _was_...

The hatred that had grown within Roppi was showing in Shizuo too, but thankfully Shizuo hadn't killed a house full of men and children like he had ...

Shizuo was also able to heal faster than a normal human, once again something that the doctors were unable to find a rational explanation for. Roppi had found that he himself was able to heal almost instantly, ten minutes at the most. Shizuo was taking his new strength rather badly, locking himself in his room for days on end. Roppi knew exactly what the brunette was feeling: confusion, anger, hatred towards others, sadness, fear, self loathing.

Shizuo was just twelve years old- just an average seventh grade boy who wasn't so average anymore. Months slipped into a year and Shizuo had already established a reputation for himself as a "monster". On more than one occasion he had gotten into fights with upperclassmen and had serious injured them by throwing desks and even uprooting trees. Shizuo, who had very few friends to begin with because of his fiery temper, soon became a loner. He made it routine to eat lunch alone at school and spent the weekends by himself.

It wasn't that he didn't want to have friends-he really did! It was because he not only scared people off naturally because of his reputation and burst of anger, but it was because he was afraid of hurting the people he cared about. Even though he was stronger than anyone else, and even though trouble seemed to find him everywhere he went, he still didn't like violence. Sure, he was violent, but he didn't _want_ to be. It just happened.

Roppi kept to the sidelines, making sure that Shizuo didn't get into any serious trouble. The brunette and his family didn't know it, but Shizuo had become a target of major companies and gangs. Even though he was just a thirteen year old boy didn't mean anything to them, it was his strength that intrigued them. Experimentation and manipulation were the only things on their agendas, and Roppi made sure to keep them at bay.

It wasn't hard for the raven to make something of his time. When he wasn't keeping an eye on Shizuo and his family or sleeping in the sewer system beneath their house (because with all the people snooping around looking for a chance to jump Shizuo it was the safest place for Roppi at night) he was holding back the masses with his own tricks. After stealing a laptop from an electronics store (not very hard for someone like him) he was easily able to hack into various corporations and sneaking pharmacists and trash their system.

A year crawled by with Shizuo muddling along through the seventh grade and Roppi as his constant shadow. At school, Roppi would hide outside the classroom window and watch the brunette during class, and afterwards he would tail him home. While Roppi hadn't even once talked to the boy he had been protecting for more than year, he was content.

At the start of the eighth grade, Shizuo finally made his first friend in years. Shinra Kishitani was an odd boy, to say the least. The first thing he asked Shizuo was if he could dissect him, which of course freaked the shit out of Shizuo. The next day, after the megane* furiously apologized, he explained that he found the boy's strength amazing and that he wanted to become a doctor. Even though these two things really didn't grant him any reason to spout nonsense about dissecting other people, Shizuo accepted the other's apology and the two of them became fast friends.

Although he had every reason to be one, Roppi wasn't a jealous person. However, he couldn't help but feel a little resentment towards the glasses wearing boy. He was angry, he was hateful, he could literally feel the ugly monster within him raise its head every time Shinra walked next to Shizuo. Roppi felt rejected and depressed-even though he knew that these feelings were illogical since Shizuo had never actually met him in person in the first place.

He knew that if he didn't do something quickly he would snap and things would go down the same gory path as back in Bogmertv. So he did the only thing he could think of...and raided a liquor store.

He had seen his own father get drunk a couple times-even though he could no longer conjure up of an image of the man's face in his head. The staff at Bogmertv got drunk a lot-usually ending up with dragging kids into their bedrooms to do unspeakable horrors or giving them extra work. Roppi didn't want to end up acting like them by no means, but he wanted to forget about his problems for a little while.

The nightmares came to him every time he closed his eyes, he'd been having nightmares since he ever entered the orphanage, and it took a toll on his stamina. He would hunt for rats in the sewer for food, or use pickpocketed money to buy what he needed. However, lately his nightmares had been getting worse, resulting in him being a lot more lazy, and so he was running low on cash. So stealing the booze directly was the only option he had left. Besides, Mr. Heiwajima was a strict nonalcoholic.

Which brought him here, slumped in the back alley of an apartment complex, drowning himself in something called "Smirnoff Diageo Vodka". Roppi frowned and shook the bottle upside down with a whine, "Empty~?" He shrugged and let it clatter to the floor next to him and roll away. He was wedged between a garbage can and something he was pretty sure was once organic. His senses were on fire from the awful smells and the sounds of traffic seemed even louder than usual to his pounding head. Thoughts of Shizuo were long gone, pushed to the far recesses of the Roppi's mind, replaced the fog of imported booze. However, his mind was clear enough to register the sounds of footsteps turning into the mouth of the alley from the sidewalk.

From what Roppi could see from his position was the black silhouette of a man against the backdrop of neon city lights. He was tall and had broad shoulders, and Roppi saw that he was wearing a crisp white business suit when his eyes adjusted to the contrast. Dark brown eyes with lines underneath were locked onto his, one hand in a pocket and the other on the cigarette carton he held to his side. The man's hair was dark and messy, and yet seemed wildly appropriate for how he was dressed. The man _screamed_ yakuza.

"Oi, kid, what are you doing out this late?"

Roppi blinked at the gruff voice and squinted up at the man, wobbling slightly.

"Wha?"

The man eyed him coldly and his gaze fell to the bottle by Roppi's feet.

"How old are you, kid?"

"...Thirteen..."

He blinked and paused lighting a cigarette, "And you're _drunk_?"

Roppi shrugged and let out a weak humorless laugh, "We all have our problems...say-do you have any cash I could borrow?"

"For booze?"

"No...for something to eat..."

"Sorry 'bout that, kid-but I'm no charity."

Roppi used a trashcan to pull himself to his feet and smirked, "That's a shame-and I really am hungry..."

"Go home, kid. Get your parents to make you something to eat."

"My parents are dead."

"...Then you're homeless?"

"...Both literally and figuratively."

The man stubbed his cigarete on the sole of his boot, "You got any talents, kid?"

"Talents?"

"Are you smart? Can you work? Can you fight?"

The boy blew the bangs out of his face and smirked, "All of the above."

* * *

Working for Shiki was not as easy as Roppi had initially thought, but it kept him occupied. Shiki was indeed yakuza, a company called Akwakusu-kai to be exact, and worked regularly with a red-haired man named Akabayashi. The two men were almost on equal rankings, although Roppi was easily able to tell who was really in charge. Apparently Shiki had needed an "apprentice"-someone he could train and have do his errands and other small things. Roppi didn't have a set job, because he was "under surveliance" because Shiki had literally picked him off the streets.

Shiki didn't ask him about his past, something that Roppi found oddly comforting, and only hounded him for his skills. While Roppi never went all out in ways that would make his skills seem suspiciously abnormal, Shiki and the others were instantly impressed. Shiki sent him out on "scouting missions" which required him to spy on other yakuza groups during their meetings.

Shiki taught him how to fight and how to work in the world of "grownups"-although Roppi already knew most of the things the man taught him from the mysterious influence that was S-0983. Shiki seemed to immediately fall into a position of being Roppi guardian and even let him stay in an extension of his own (very luxurious) apartment. The man was very understanding and Roppi was eternally grateful that Shiki never questioned him when would "disappear" to check on Shizuo.

Roppi was in the midst of learning something called "parkour" and Shiki was at his side the whole time. Even though Roppi was hesitant at first, not being able to find it in him to trust people anymore, Shiki was actually someone he could consider a friend. One day, when Roppi was in the middle of training in hand to hand combat, the man handed him a switchblade and told him that he would personally teach him how to use it. Roppi hadn't felt so happy in months.

Until he learned that Shizuo and his family were moving.

* * *

***megane= someone who wears glasses (literally means glasses)**

**Note:** I've done a ton of research for this fic (mostly for what's going to come up but I'm not giving anything away ;p) but I just can't bring myself to conquer the clusterfuck that is the japanese school system. I just won't do it. So I'm gonna go with the _normal_ American way of things and just say he's in 7th grade.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **Not mine, but damn would I want to!

So we found out how Roppi got his switchblade and how he got involved with Shiki-and now he finds out that Shizuo is moving! What's he going to do?!

**Chapter Soundtrack:** "Pieces" by Red

* * *

Shiki looked for the third time away from his laptop screen opened to the stock exchange to glance at the boy sitting rather dejectedly on his white sofa. The boy, amazingly only thirteen years old, had been in the same position with his face buried in his knees for over two hours with no explanation. Normally it wouldn't bother Shiki- the boy was finally quiet, but he sensed that something had to be very wrong for the normally snarky genius to be so quiet for so long.

"What's the matter with you kid?"

"...Nothing."

"If it were nothing I doubt you would be sitting like that on my sofa. Why aren't you doing something more...productive?"

"...I want a new name..."

"What?"

"...Rename me..."

"What's wrong with "Roppi"?"

"..._Please_..."

Shiki raised a brow at that, "What do you want me to call you?"

"...I don't care..."

"...How about Sakuraya? Your eyes are pink in some lights."

"...Not funny..."

"Okay...how about Izaya?"

"...Why Izaya?"

"Well, it's a japanese variant of Isaiah from the Bible, it means 'one who watches over the crowd'. I think it's perfect considering that's your job."

"...Thank you, Shiki..."

"Don't mention it, now get off my sofa and go do something else."

* * *

With a new name he could start over. After all, according to the police reports, Roppi Hachimen had died in the Bogmertv fire. He was thankful that when Shiki checked his background, he didn't ask any questions like "how the fuck are you even alive?". Shiki was a nicer man than the he seemed. Sure, he was cold and cruel-the perfect yakuza, but he was a softy deep down..._very _deep had given him a job and a place to stay without ever intruding into Roppi's personal life, and it was something that he found interesting.

At first Roppi hadn't known what to think of the job offer, being in Bogmertv had created walls in his heart and he wasn't about to let himself be taken advantage of by anyone ever again. However, Shiki's offer had been genuine business-work, and Roppi was surprised that the man wasn't a pedophile like he had originally thought...not that Shiki looked like one, but it was just that Roppi had a history that wasn't very...pleasant.

With a new name he could forget his past...no, that was impossible...but he could start anew and remake his life. He had a job and...and what? What did he actually have left? His family was gone, along with his humanity, leaving him alone in a world full of lies. He was a monster, a cold killing thing, and he had infected someone with his disease. He had stolen away the future of a child who wasn't involved in any way with Bogmertv, and yet was now something just as monstrous as Roppi himself.

_No, not Roppi...Izaya...my name is Izaya..._

He repeated his new name over and over again like a mantra, trying to get it to sound right. He was currently headed to Shizuo's house-well, it wouldn't be his house for much longer...

Izaya frowned as he crossed the intersection on green, _he's really leaving...at least it isn't too far away...Ikebukuro isn't very far away from here if I run there...but I still work and live with Shiki...I can't just relay back and forth...it'll be too much of a hassle and I won't be able to keep it up for long...I have to make a choice..._

Before he knew it he was at Shizuo's, and the amount of moving vans parked in front of the boy's house made his stomach churn. He didn't like how the strange men were packing away the family's things and putting them into their cars, it made things seem so final...like he would never see them again.

It was unlikely that Shizuo would disappear from his life forever, no matter where they moved, but the fact that he wouldn't be able to protect and watch him like he used to made him sad. Made him hateful.

He quickly silenced his thoughts before he did something he would regret.

With a single leap he was on the roof and in an instant he had scrambled over the russet shingles to peek over into the yard. The playground was completely gone, leaving bare dirt in its wake, and Shizuo and Shinra were sitting on the brick patio. Izaya was able to peer over the edge of the roof without creating a shadow and his superior hearing immediately picked up their conversation. His advanced sense of hearing, he found, was an essential reason why he was climbing up the ranks so quickly. It's amazing how being able to hear through four floors of concrete can help ruin a drug lord and let a kid rise high above his superiors.

"So you're really moving to Ikebukuro?", Shinra sounded sad as he gazed at the small iron jacks the two boys had strew in between them. He glanced up at Shizuo, who was fiddling with the tiny orange ball.

"Yeah...I don't really wanna go but my parents say that maybe I'll be able to make some more friends there...that maybe no one will have heard of me and I can start over...you _know_ my grades aren't that great..."

Shinra smiled and patted his friend reassuringly on the back, "Don't worry, we'll keep in touch-and who knows? Maybe I'll move there too one day!"

Shizuo weakly returned the smile even though his eyes didn't reflect it whatsoever, "Yeah, maybe..."

Izaya felt it moving inside him again, that dark slimy thing that still didn't have a name. It ate away at the back of his brain, nagging at him in a voice not unlike his own.** _Look at that~he's already looking for more friends when you're right here! He must not think you're worth befriending~_**

Izaya gripped the gutter tightly, not even caring that he was slowly deforming the metal into something hideous,_ shut the fuck up...he doesn't even know I exist...  
_

The other him chuckled within the recesses of his mind, **_And whose fault is that? Why won't you open up to him, hm? Why won't you let him know what you've been doing for him? Why not take the credit for what you deserve?_**

Izaya didn't like the way that the other voice imitated his own. _Who are you, anyway, some botched version of my conscious?_

_**I'm whatever you want me to be. I am you but at the same time I am not you.**_

_That doesn't make sense, why would I be talking to another me inside my head?_

**_Oh~ but I'm not in your head._**

_What?_

_**You'll figure it out eventually~**_

Praying that he wasn't exactly batshit crazy just yet, he went back to focusing on the boys below him. They moved so they faced each other now, poised and ready with the jacks all lined up and the ball in one hand. It was Shinra's turn, and Shizuo watched in a bemused fashion as the doctor-to-be bounced the ball lightly and then hurridly collected the jacks.

Shinra let out a groan when the ball came down before he could collect all the little trinkets and Shizuo let out a laugh.

"Let me try-I bet I can do it!"

Izaya blinked and allowed a soft smile to spread across his lips as Shizuo took the ball from Shinra. He bounced the ball and suddenly Izaya had to rear back in order to narrowly miss the orange bullet that shot past his cheek and high into the air. There was a cold silence in which you could practically feel Shizuo's sadness.

Shinra recovered first and waved his hands as if dismissing the whole thing, "C'mon Shizuo, I'm thirsty, lets go inside and get some lemonade. I'll have to leave soon anyway." Izaya watched Shizuo clean up the game quietly and slowly escourt Shinra into the house.

_He wants somone like him...someone he can play with...someone who won't break if he held them or treat him like some freak._

**_Don't you want to play with him? Don't you want to be that person?_**

_Of course I do..._

_**Then why don't you?**_

_You know why..._

_**Humor me.**_

_He'll hate me if he knows..._

_**Pardon? I didn't catch that~**_

_I said that he'll hate me if he knows what I did to him..._

_**Exactly! You're afraid of him knowing the truth! The truth that you're a monster!**_

_A monster...I made him this way...I ruined his life..._

_**Yes! And yet why do you still hang around him?**_

_Because I owe him my protection..._

_**But don't you want anything in return? Don't tell me this is just a selfless act-that you aren't hanging around him for your own benefit!**_

_...I need someone to protect...I need a person to care about and keep safe..._

_**You mean you need someone to take Kanra's place?**_

_No! No one will ever take her place!_

_**Then what do you want?**_

_I JUST WANT YOU TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD AND LEAVE ME ALONE!_

The voice in the back of his head went silent at that. His head was pounding and he realized his vision was getting hazy. The argument had gotten him all riled up-he'd have to go jogging or something to blow off some steam. Maybe spy on a few yakuza members to brighten his spirits. He had taken to watching people, even when not on a job, in order to entertain himself. He often found himself trying to put himself in another's shoes, to see how his life would. Their lives always seemed better than his own, after all.

An orange ball, caught between shingles, drew his attention. Izaya frowned and crawled over to the toy and picked it up almost delicately as if it would break.

_Maybe I'll play with him one day...but until then, I'll continue being his shadow..._

* * *

Three weeks past and Izaya was losing himself in misery. He tried to commute, to juggle his two lives, but it was exhausting and he was always late to meetings with Shiki. He had to make a choice and he had to make it soon, lest he lose his head in his madness. The voice he had heard when watching Shizuo had yet to return, but he was certain that it was still there, lurking in his mind.

He often went to the Heiwajima's empty house and just sulked for hours. Checking in every other day on Shizuo was taking its tole on him, and he just couldn't take it anymore, living in two places and two worlds. So, with much courage and trepidation on his part, he knocked on Shiki's door.

"Come in."

Izaya shuffled inside quietly, unable to really think of anything to say that would lessen his punishment. Would Shiki be mad at him for what he was about to do? Would he hate him? Izaya didn't think he could take it if his father figure turned on him, he had lost so much already.

Shiki was sitting crossed legged behind his desk, coffee in one hand and newspaper in the other. The yakuza peered over the top of the column he was reading and quirked a brow slightly, "Izaya? What are you doing here?" Izaya couldn't express into words how strange the new name sounded when directed to him.

Izaya sat himself in the chair across from Shiki and tried to see if he could count how many letters on the back pages of the yakuza's newspaper.

"I-I..."

"You're stuttering? Well that's quite unlike you, what's the matter?"

_890,563 letters, all creating words to tell the story about some Austrian senator killing his wife with a claronet. Why would he read this shit?_

"I...I put myself up for adoption..."

Shiki put down the newspaper and stared at the boy curiously.

"You...put yourself up for...adoption..."

_Yeah, it sounds even stupider when you say it._

"Yes..."

"Can I ask why?"

"I'd prefer it if you didn't."

"Very well, so you'll be moving your things out of my guest room then?"

"What things? I don't have things Shiki you know that."

"Right. Do you intend to continue working for Awakusakai?"

"Is it even an option to say no?"

"I think you know the answer to that."

"I thought as much. This went easier than I expected, to be honest."

"Did you think I'd bite off your head? Honestly, how long have you known me? You live with me too, so you better know me better than my coworkers."

"What about that red head with the scar? He stays over sometimes too."

"Izaya, don't test my patience..."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Tommorow would be his first day as Izaya Orihara, and he hoped it would go better than he feared.

* * *

Don't forget to review! Please please **review**!


	15. Chapter 15

Thank you all for being so patient! I know I haven't updated this in a while, but I've been working on other things and haven't had much time for this fandom.

_**"Nothing Can Be Explained"- Bleach Ost 1 **_

* * *

Izaya had enrolled himself at an adoption center a month prior to his conversation with Shiki. A reputable one, this time, and he had made sure to do his background checks and research. It was easy to do-signing up as Izaya Hachimen (no relation to the deceased corporation owners) and to say that he had lived with his family in Osaka until his parents died in a car crash. A pitiful face, forged papers, and he was off to getting himself adopted.

In less than three weeks he had already been picked by Kyouko Orihara, a young housewife with baby blue eyes and brown hair. She was the wife of Shirou Orihara, a skilled doctor who was away with their young twin daughters on vacation. When she brought him to his new home she said they would be away for the next week and were eager to meet him.

The house was a classic one story house with white walls and a black bricked roof. The kitchen was conjoined with the living room, which was the first room you met upon entering. To the right was a hallway that led to the bedrooms and bathrooms. The twins shared a room next to Izaya's-formerly a spare guest room. All in all it was a very simple house, something that Izaya was happy with.

Those seven days passed like a dream to Izaya, he was happier than he had ever been in probably his entire life. Never before had he felt so loved and cherished, he knew that Kyouko was truly a good mother by the way she treated him. When he got sick with a cold four days in, she had doted on him like he was her biological son. He almost felt like his life of horror and blood never happened, that it was all just some twisted nightmare and that he had always been Izaya Orihara.

It was only the seventh day, ten minutes before Shirou and the twins were supposed to arrive, when things went terribly wrong. The night before Kyouko had gone to bed with a headache, Izaya made her soup and prayed she wasn't catching his cold. Ten minutes in counting he went to check on her, to see if she was dressed and ready to greet her family, when Izaya's world went sour again.

Kyouko lay in bed, same as how he had left her the night before, except that her face was flushed and her skin was sickly pale. She had a fever-her breathing was labored and sweat clung to her hair. If he had been anyone else he would have thought it was just a normal fever-a trip to the doctor and she would be fine.

But he was Roppi Hachimen, and deep down he knew that what was happening would not end well.

He reached out a shaky hand and clasp Kyouko's clammy one, tears beading at the corners of his eyes as he spoke in a shaky voice.

"If only I hadn't come here...if only I hadn't had you take care of me when I was sick...none of this would have happened...it wouldn't have to happen again...forgive me, Kyouko..."

That's how Shirou found his wife-lying comatose in her bed, heavy with fever, his new "son" weeping silently at her side.

* * *

Kyouko did not survive the night.

Shirou, the proud doctor that he was, tried as hard as he could to save his wife but to no avail. The fever took her and she never woke up from her coma. Izaya wanted to think that she had gone peacefully, but he knew better. She must have died in excruciating pain, as did all the orphans who did not survive the initial injection's fever.

The funeral took place the next week, and Izaya was surprised when he was allowed to the funeral. Even though everyone else-family friends and relatives greeted him and told him it wasn't his fault, he knew better. He knew he caused Kyouko's death.

And so did Shirou.

Izaya could see it in the man's brown eyes whenever their gaze met. He could feel it in the subtle shoves of shoulders when they passed by in the house. He could smell it in the alcohol that laced the man's breath when he stumbled in at four in the morning.

The twins were only three years old, and yet understood right away what their father meant when he told them that their mother was dead. They had cried for days on end, days in which Shirou sat in the living room and drank himself half to death while they locked themselves in their rooms, days in which Izaya fled back to Shinjuku and stayed with Shiki. Once again he was happy that Shiki never asked questions and never once mentioned Kyouko's death.

When he returned, the moment he walked into that house, he was roughly grabbed by the scruff of his collar and pinned to the floor. His powers let him know it was going to happen, but he let it happen anyway.

After all, he deserved the punishment wholeheartedly.

He didn't even wince when Shirou leaned in close to his face, teeth bared in a snarl and alcoholic fumes burning Izaya's eyes. "You fucking little shit! The only reason I'm letting you live here is because Kyouko would have wanted that! Don't think I'll let you get away with killing my wife! I'm going to make your life a living hell you goddamn brat!"

Izaya just closed his eyes, resigning himself to his fate.

"By all means, do your worst."

And as Shirou punched and kicked him until he blacked out, he tried to ignore the stares of Mairu and Kururi as they watched silently from their door in the hallway.

* * *

He was enrolled in Raijin Academy, something that he desperately tried to change. He tried to convince Shirou in letting him be enrolled in Ikebukuro Middle, but it was hopeless. Shizuo went to Ikebukuro Middle, and Izaya's chance in being in the same school as Shizuo was lost.

It was the middle of the school year and Izaya was going to placed into the seventh grade. He made his test scores would come out as above average, but not so much so that they would suggest he skip a grade. The moment he walked into his classroom, he knew he wasn't going to like it there. The faces that stared back at him were dull and boring, something he detested with a passion. He wanted a challenge, someone that could be on par with his intelligence and befriend him. He inwardly kicked himself, reminiding himself that no one in the human race was as smart as him. He was a monster, after all.

After introducing himself his teacher pointed to a seat in the middle of the back of the classroom. He nodded and shuffled down the isle, ignoring the whispers of his classmates. He sat down in silence, trying to keep a cool face with a smile. First impressions were everything, after all. It was only when a tap on his shoulder from the right that he actually looked to see who was next to him.

It was a girl.

Stunning blonde hair she had pulled back with a hair clip, big blue eyes, and a shy smile-the girl was gorgeous. She blushed when he looked at her and fiddled with her skirt, "U-Uh hi, my name is Shizuka Usahara..." Izaya blinked and then smiled back, holding out a hand, "Izaya Orihara, but then again you already know who I am." The girl blushed again, something he wondered if she did a lot.

The rest of the day was relatively boring for Izaya. The fact that he knew everything they were teaching him was partly the reason. Whatever S-0983's true purpose was, whatever Hakuro and his goons had been concocting, Izaya figured it was something that maxed out one's brain use. Human beings only use up to 10% of it at a single time, and S-0983 probably open the flood gates and let him use much, much, more.

Shizuka seemed hellbent on being his friend, but Izaya wasn't really sure on what he wanted, so he spent lunch time in the library, pretending to read what he already knew. It was during that time that he was approached by the one person he hadn't expected to see.

Shinra Kishitani.

The boy slid into the seat next to him, adjusting his glasses with his quirky smile in place. Izaya blinked, unsure of whether or not he had fallen asleep in the library and was just having a nightmare. Shinra held out his hand and Izaya just stared at it, waiting for the moment when his dream would explode and the boy would burst into flames or melt into a puddle of guts.

"My name's Shinra Kishitani, we sat next to each other last period in science class."

Izaya was hesitant, but still put on a fake smile and shook the boy's hand. It was no wonder that he hadn't seen him, Izaya had been counting the hairs on his professor's head that period. Shinra beamed, "You know, I was thinking of starting a biology club!"

Izaya had know Shinra for a little over a year, so he knew of the boy's love for all things science. Shinra wanted to be a doctor, after all.

"Is that so?"

Shinra nodded, enthusiam clear in his voice, "Yeah, do you want to start one with me?"

Izaya put his book down and quirked a brow.

"Why me?

Izaya watched as Shinra faltered, then started back as good as new, "Because you seem smarter than everyone else here. You look like someone who would enjoy something like a biology club." Shinra gestured to the copy _Quantum Physics and Theology: An Unexpected Kinship_ on the table.

Izaya silently cursed his luck.

He didn't like Shinra.

He didn't like Shinra, becuase Shinra had Shizuo.

"Sorry...not interested."

And Izaya had nobody.

* * *

The day went by fast after that, with Shizuka suggesting they walk home after school and him quickly but politely declining. The last thing he wanted was for her to get caught up in the things that went on in his house.

He walked back home in a cloud, he didn't know what to do. Izaya reached into his pocket and checked his text messages, checking to see if Shiki had sent him any new info or had a job for him. Of course, the jobs Shiki had for him were getting fewer and farther in between, and Izaya knew he was going to have to something about it at some point. He knew that the Awakusakai were in a bind at the moment, having to deal with a massive law suit and several employee deaths. They didn't have the time or the money to pay him to go out and work.

_I'm probably going to be let go...I guess I'll start working freelance from now on...I'm well known in the Yakuza...but is this going to be my career? Am I going to make a living as an information broker? I mean...I know so much already because of S-0983, and Shiki's taught me too much to let it go to waste..._

**_Don't you like watching the humans?_**

Izaya froze midstep, breath catching in his throat. Black Dog, as he had dubbed it, hadn't spoken up since he'd moved to Ikebukuro, something he had been incredibly thankful for. But like always, good things never lasted long for Izaya.

_Go. Away._

**_Aw~Don't be so mean! I just want to talk to you! So...it looks like Shinra moved to Ikebukuro after all~_**

_Seems so._

**_Don't be like that, talk to me!_**

_This is talking._

**_Fine, be that way. I'll talk instead! So, I see you've been wondering how you should act around the humans._**

_..._

**_Act like you always do when you're working! You're above these cretans, they're below you! You have no need to drop down to their level! Be the aloof and crafty motherfucker you are when you're dealing with the Yakuza. Just watch them and observe their behavior, if you watch them long enough you can find out what they're thinking~_**

_I'm not above humans, you know that, I'm as lowly as you can get. I'm nothing but garbage._

**_Yes~but they don't know that, do they? So act! Act like you know you can! You have the tools and you know it!_**

_What are you talking about?_

**_Hakuro gave you the resources, you just need to tap into them and use them appropriately. You know, you can do a lot more than you know. S-0983 is more complicated than you think._**

_..._

**_Just pretend...it isn't hard, you know?_**

_...Pretend?_

**_Yes! Pretend and climb your way to the top of the food chain. Become so powerful and so feared that you never have to be scared again!_**

_...If I climb to the top I can protect Shizuo better...and maybe if I get enough money I can try to research a way to reverse Shizuo's strength...I can help him..._

**_That'a boy! You can be a God of Ikebukuro! No-of all of Japan! Fear can be your greatest weapon, you know._**

___...Fine...I'll play your stupid game..._

The next day, before the morning bell rang, he went and found Shinra in the other boy's homeroom.

_But I'm no God _

"Alright, I'll help fund your biology club."

_I'm nothing but a wolf's in sheep's clothing._

* * *

Sorry again about the delay (a month) but so much is going on and I'm going away the whole summer to Europe and then I'll be starting college. So please don't be sitting salivating over your computer waiting for me to update, because I'm going to be preoccupied with other things for a long time. But don't worry, I love writing too much to give these fanfics up. I won't stop until the one's I've started are finished. Promise.

...

I have a feeling I'll be regretting that promise in the future...


	16. Chapter 16

Hey everyone! I'm actually still on vacation right now: one week in London, two weeks on a cruise around the UK and Ireland, and now three weeks with my grandparents in Spain! I love it! I'm sitting in the backroom of their apartment and I'm so amazed at how many people reviewed! You guys made me smile so much my face hurts!

Thank you so much! Here's the next chapter as promised!

**The song for this chapter is: "The Little Things Give You Away" by Linkin Park**

* * *

Izaya funded Shinra's Biology club and became the Vice President in a matter of days. They started off with a small group-a collection of stick-thin nerds with nothing better to do, then others came in and soon they were thriving. They met after school every Wednesday and, without meaning to, Izaya was actually enjoying himself-even though really all they were doing was watering plants and taking care of rabbits. Things seemed to looking up for him-he had a "family", he went to school, was doing well as a freelance informant, and he had "friends".

He had sent Shiki the simple text: _I'm going freelance._ To which the yakuza had just replied: _Good luck. _Izaya couldn't believe how much those two words had affected him, he became almost lightheadedly giddy. He had someone who cared for him, even if it wasn't in the traditional sense.

His "friends" consisted of Shinra and Shizuka. While he tolerated Shinra's presence by bitting the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood, he actually enjoyed Shizuka's company. It was clear she had a crush on him, by the way she blushed each time they talked or whenever he looked her way she was already staring at him, but he subtly ignored it. He wasn't interested in her that way, or anyone else, for that matter.

His sexuality was something he tended not to think about, _I'll deal with it later, _he would tell himself whenever it came up in his mind. He knew that being under the hands of so many men had skewed his preferences and dislikes, the treatment of that orphanage and his past were things that would inevitably cause rifts in any relationship he started. He also found himself strongly adverse to physical contact-from both male and females.

His situation at "home" wasn't anything laughable. The whole place just reminded him of Kyouko and Shiro beat him every chance he got-making sure to keep it below the collar so as not to arouse suspicion. Shiro had gone so far as to remove the door to his bedroom, to kill any chance of privacy and to allow him to beat up the boy when he was sleeping and unaware. But Izaya wasn't unaware, he never was, S-0983 destroyed any chance of him living as a normal human. His senses were unparalleled, his intelligence and agility unmatched.

He knew he had options: leave the house, report Shiro to the police-but he wound't do anything like that. After all, he deserved everything thrown his way, right?

At school his was the star of the show. He was popular in the sense that everyone knew him and found him admirable, but no one really approached him unless they had to. He unnerved them, with the way he would watch people go about their activities and how he always seemed to know what people were going to do or say before they did or said it. He let them start rumors on how he was actually a stalker who had been in jail several times, and then one about him being an alien from outer space.

Humans amused him, because he had forgotten how it felt to be one.

There were several people at school (Shinra included) that he dislikes greatly, but none so much as Nakura Okonogi.

Izaya frowned internally, never braking his outward facade, "Nakura I don't think that's-"

The brunette just barked a laugh and rolled his eyes, rudely interrupting the other boy, "It's a great idea! Who wants to just hang around and talk about biology and shit-gambling's just so much better! C'mon I've got some cards in my bag-how about blackjack?"

Izaya forced down the urge to punch the smug look off the other's face, "Shinra wouldn't want us ruining his club. As vice president I don't-"

"Izaya, fess up, you just wanted to be his vice president so you could observe him or whatever creepy shit you do all the time by watching people. No one here really likes Shinra or even really takes him seriously. He's just a nerd obsessed with some imaginary fantasy friend of his-he's not someone you should get all protective over. You don't even like him as a friend, it's no secret that you hate his guts. You glare at him all the time during class."

Izaya froze, _I do? Do I hate Shinra? Really hate him? I know I don't like him being friends with Shizuo but..._

He was knocked from his thoughts when Nakura suddenly swiped off all of Shinra things off the desk and replaced him with his cards, "Okay, now are you gonna do this thing or what?"

Shinra had left him in charge of project they were supposed to present after summer break-it being the middle of the last part of the school year. He had agreed, ever though he didn't like Shinra he wasn't going to just destroy something he cared about, besides-doing a presentation was simple and it wouldn't take him very long. Shinra had said he had some family issues and had no time, something that struck Izaya with cold familiarity. He agreed almost immediately.

However, Nakura, one of the first people they had recruited, was causing trouble again. Izaya had never liked the raven haired, dark-eyed boy, with the baggy pants and nose ring. He really had no fucking clue why such a kid would join the _biology _club, when all he ever did was sit in the corner and shuffle a deck of cards. Well, when Nakura found Izaya with a few other club members (which included Shizuka, because if Izaya was there, she would be too) and say that Shinra was gone...

"W-We shouldn't do this to Shinra, you guys! He left you with a project, remember, Izaya?" Shizuka stammered, blush growing and hands waving. Poor girl was so absorbed with Izaya that she failed to notice that half the male student body was in love with her.

Izaya stayed his calm, crafty self, but inside he was a mess of emotions. On one hand, he hated Shinra for taking up the place of Shizuo's friend when he himself couldn't, but on the other hand he couldn't just ruin something that Shinra cared about-couldn't take advantage of the other boy's trust...could he?

_**You hate Shinra, right? Then do whatever the fuck you want! Be selfish for once!**_

_No! I mean..._

_**Look, I'm sure if you beat this little shit at his own game he should get fed up and leave, right? Besides, poker means money, and money means supplies! You can fund your own little office somewhere so Shiro can't beat you up so much!**_

_But I deserve the punishment..._

**_Dear God you're impossible! Just play the game and make the fucker pissed so he leaves and doesn't come back! He's only a bother to the club anyway!_**

_...Fine..._

**_Good boy_**

So they started to play, despite Shizuka's insistent pleas and his own conscience eating at him as he won bet after bet. That night when he went home, he tried to wipe Shinra's betrayed face out of his mind by focusing on Shiro's beatings.

* * *

The next day at school, Shinra was at his throat. Izaya hadn't expected any different from him, he would bitch too if he trusted someone with a huge project and they just ended up flaking on them. However, he hadn't really flaked-he ran his thumb over the USB in his pocket. Granted he only slept two hours the night before, he felt too guilty not to finish the project.

It was homeroom, the room was mostly empty due to them coming especially early that day. Shizuka was the only other one besides the two boys, sitting off in the corner and trying to ignore Shinra's yelling.

Izaya took the other's verbal insults in stride, never losing the mask of aloof amusement, but inside he was eating himself alive. He knew he shouldn't have listened to Black Dog, he should have done the right thing and just stopped Nakura before he had gotten out of control. Shinra had trusted him and he had let him down.

"I trusted you, Izaya!"

Izaya forced himself not to wince at the biting words, letting the other vent without interruption. He knew that he should hate Shinra, but he couldn't help but feel bad. He felt guilty for the umpteenth time in his life.

Suddenly the door opened to reveal Nakura, face contorted in anger, "Give me back my fucking money, Orihara!" Izaya knew before Nakura even reached into his jacket pocket that he had a knife. He couldn't give back the money, he had spent it already in renting a small apartment in the Underground-the downtown of downtown. The money that Nakura had bet had not been his own money, but his parent's money that he had stolen when they weren't looking. Now they were hounding him for it, threatening him with grounding him and pulling him out of school.

When Izaya didn't say a word, Nakura pulled the knife from his pocket and lunged. Shizuka screamed somewhere in the background, but it faded to the back of Izaya's mind as his body went into action. He could do one of two things: attack or defe-

Shinra grabbed Izaya by the shoulders, twirling them around so the raven was behind him, exposing himself to Nakura's attack. Izaya, caught off guard by the doctor-to-be's actions, was unable to prevent Nakura from stabbing Shinra in the stomach. In a flurry of movement, he had Nakura flying back out the door and into the hallway, the knife still in Shinra's stomach and Nakura knocked unconscious after slamming into the lockers.

Izaya looked over to Shizuka to see if she would be any help, but saw that she had fainted in her chair from shock. He quickly returned to the paling boy and found that he was unconscious and losing a lot of blood. He could hear footsteps of someone running down the hallway towards them, roused by Nakura's banging into the wall, but ignored them in favor of Shinra's wound. He pulled the knife delicately from his abdomen and then pressed down on the wound to staunch the flow of blood. He looked over to Nakura's prone body and then to the knife beside Shinra, and formulated a plan.

* * *

Izaya was taken into custody, he took the blame for Nakura and warned Shizuka not to tell. Shinra was taken to the hospital and the school year effectively ended. Nakura wouldn't be back the next year, his parents pulling him out in punishment for stealing over 2 million yen from them. Shiro beat Izaya worse than ever when he got the news, he sent the twins to their grandparents and payed the boy's bail. Shiro would pay the boy back in full, Izaya knew, and he was lucky to get away with broken legs, seven cracked ribs, and a swollen eye, that all healed faster than they should've. Shiro never questioned why one night Izaya was useless from the waist down and the next he was jogging down the street to the Underground. Izaya felt that one some level Shiro knew that Izaya wasn't human, and felt that it was just deserved. He was a monster after all.

He only visited Shinra once, sneaking in his hospital window, knowing he would be stopped at the front door if he tried to visit Shinra legally. Izaya put the USB they never got to use on Shinra's bedside table, and left without a word.

The rest of summer break was a quiet time for Izaya, until he learned that Shizuka had killed herself.

* * *

Alright, I know that in the light novel they made a gambling ring on baseball games, but I didn't want to do that so I just made it blackjack.

Now, how do you like that cliffhanger of mine? Aren't I just an evil little bitch? XD

Don't forget to **review!**


	17. Announcement and Chapter 17 Preview

Alright, now I have other things to do and will be busy for the rest of my vacation, but when I go home I have two weeks before I ship off to college so I'll be busy then too, then I start college...I'll try to update in the next few weeks but I don't know...

Hey you guys, when I post up can my review count be at **180****_?_** _God_ I'm so fucking anal about this but...please~ :)

Chapter 17 Preview:

_Izaya tugged at the netting to make sure it held fast and looked up from the eightieth floor. "This building is eighty-two stories...two stories is roughly twenty feet...a human could easily survive a fall like that-plus they'll get to feel what it is like to jump off a building to their death..." he mumbled to himself, gazing up at the full moon. He ducked back into the building and checked the chat room on his phone._

_Miyako918: I'm almost there, damn biking is hard. Guess it doesn't really matter though, after tonight._

_Izaya grit his teeth, _how the fuck can they throw away their lives so easily?! _But he forced himself to text back._

_Sakuraya87: Alright, I'm already here, meet me on the roof._

_He fiddled with the fur trim on Shizuka's jacket and allowed himself a sad smile, _Don't worry Shizuka...I won't let your death be in vain...


	18. Chapter 17

I arrived back home from vacation just last night, and have two weeks before i move away to college...I don't know if I should be happy or not that I'm leaving my parents...but whatever-better now than later I guess...

**Song for this chapter: "Blinding" by Florence and the Machines**

* * *

Izaya was no stranger to suicide, because it was always something nagging at his soul. When he turned on the news one morning he expected the ususal: car crashes and bank robberies. No, he never thought that he would turn on the TV to see Shizuka's school photo and a news reporter talking rather animately about the girl's suicide by jumping off the highest building in Shinjuku-the Sunshine 60 apartment complex, where Shizuka and her family lived. He didn't need to call anyone or do any snooping to figure out why she killed herself.

He already knew it was his fault.

The last day of school Shizuka had confronted him, in front of the entire student body, and confessed her feelings for him. He had expected it, she was blushing more than usual that morning and had a box of chocolate shoved in her locker that he could smell from the classroom, no thanks to S-0983. However, it did nothing to change his response.

_"I'm flattered Shizuka-chan, but I just see you as a friend...I'm sorry."_

He left the house without touching his cereal and with Shiro smirking triumphantly at his retreat. The man always thought the worst of him, Shiro probably assumed that Izaya had pushed her off. He ran towards the Underground, heading for his apartment and silent solitude. He climbed up the fire escape and slid into his own open window.

There was furniture there that hadn't been there the night before, but the apartment literally _reeked _of Shiki and Akabayashi. The two watched his back no matter what, it seemed, and when they found out he had a new apartment they bought and moved the furniture in without a second's hesitation. It was so touching that, mixed with his own feelings over yet another person he had killed, he started to weep quietly. He shakily walked over to the brand new king sized bed with black satin sheet collapsed onto the soft matress with a small cry of anguish.

I failed Kanra and Kikiyo, I slaughtered Miles and the other orphans, I ruined Shizuo's life, I condemned Kikiyo and stole away a mother and a wife, I got Shinra stabbed, and now I drove Shizuka to suicide...how many lives do I have to destroy before I just destroy myself!

**_You are a fool...my fragile master..._**

_Black Dog...go away...I don't want to deal with you right now..._

**_I am a part of you, master...I will never go away no matter how much you ask..._**

_If that was supposed to be a way to comfort me you've utterly failed in the attempt..._

**_Don't be so moody...why are crying so much for Shizuka and the others all the time...you even cry for your sister in your sleep..._**

_Don't be stupid...I haven't slept since her death anyway...too many nightmare to get a good night's rest..._

**_At least I can distract you..._**

_..._

**_What are you planning to do to yourself? Will you kill yourself over yet another life you've doomed?_**

_You know, your mood swings are the only things that keep me on my toes...fucking S-0983 makes humans so predictable..._

**_Ah~but I am not human, master...neither is Shizuo, for that matter-at least not fully..._**

_Fuck off..._

Izaya pulled himself from the bed and wiped away the tears with his sleeve. He walked into the bathroom and took off his shirt in the mirror, discarding it somewhere on the floor, and raked his eyes over his scarred body. He reached into his pocket and took out his flick blade, the sound of the lock releasing the blade making a click in the otherwise silent apartment. He turned on the faucet and let cool water flow into the sink.

_**Will you add yet another scar to your collection, master?**_

_Bite me_

Izaya pressed the blade to his wrist, hissing when the cool steel slit his skin and red beaded in a fine line as he dragged it down. Now there would be ten scars, the ninth still a scab and the newest one bleeding freely on the tile. He quickly pressed his other hand over the wound and put them under the faucet.

He had started this ritual, a mark for each life he destroyed, right after Kikiyo's death. He had found very quickly that self inflicted wounds, and of course the wounds from Bogmertv from before S-0983 activated, were the only things that left scars. Cutting gave him some sick comfort, some remembrance that at least that part of him was human-like.

He took gauze from the cabinet, something that Shiki had also provided for him, and wrapped his wrist tightly before he left. The eight other scars and the scabbing one hidden by his long sleeves.

Then he left for the morgue.

* * *

_Two weeks later..._

Izaya tugged at the netting to make sure it held fast and looked up from the eightieth floor. "This building is eighty-two stories...two stories is roughly twenty feet...a human could easily survive a fall like that-plus they'll get to feel what it is like to jump off a building to their death..." he mumbled to himself, gazing up at the full moon. He ducked back into the building and checked the chat room on his phone.

**Miyako918: I'm almost there, damn biking is hard. Guess it doesn't really matter though, after tonight.**

Izaya grit his teeth, how the fuck can they throw away their lives so easily?! But he forced himself to text back.

**Sakuraya87: Alright, I'm already here, meet me on the roof.**

He fiddled with the fur trim on Shizuka's jacket and allowed himself a sad smile, _Don't worry Shizuka...I won't let your death be in vain..._

It had been a decision he had made whilst hiding in the trees near Shizuka's funeral. He wouldn't dare go near the grieving family who had already packed up their things to move to America, he had done enough damage to their lives as it was. Shizuka had left a letter that was as heartbreaking as it was long: a letter explaining in very clear words that Izaya Orihara was her reason for suicide. No doubt the school body was buzzing with rumors, most of which were lies but why would he correct them? The way he saw it, he had killed a girl he held close to his heart. She was his best friend and he had failed her.

So he would make it up to her by making sure that he dedicated his life to creating her legacy. He already dedicated his life to protecting Shizuo, now he would take the time to save as many parents the grief of burying their children as best he could. The plan was simple enough: he would use Sunshine 60,Shizuka's final setting, to stop as many suicides as he could.

By encouraging them.

**Sakuraya87** was his mask for tonight, a boy with low self esteem from the slums of Ikebukuro whose parents were divorced, his mother beat him mercilessly while drugging herself within an inch of her life. His grades were shit and he had been kicked out of three private schools for drinking during lunch. He had enough of being shit and decided to vent himself in a chat room, that's where he met **Miyako918.**

**Miyako918 **was fourteen, barely older than he whose birthday was next month, slightly overweight and as a result a victim of bullying from her classmates. She had a boyfriend briefly, only to find out he was cheating on her with her best friend who was obviously nothing of a friend.

He talked with her for the last week and a half, learning more about her than her parents knew while giving her just a layout of a personality he drafted on paper. She arrived fifteen minutes late, panting with adrenaline from the situation. Of her suicide she was going to perform with **Sakuraya87**. Black hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, a barely chubby face with iconic blue eyes-she was a beautiful girl...so sad that people were too stupid to look past a couple extra pounds.

"So, you're **Sakuraya87**?" She sounded surprised, as if someone who looked like he had come right off the cover a magazine was so desperate he'd kill himself. To be fair, she wasn't any of the derogatory images she had painted in his head over the internet. So sad that we perceive ourselves as uglier than we are.

"Yeah, **Miyako918?**" He used the meekest voice he could muster.

"Yup! I like your jacket!"

He ran his fingers over the light brown fur trimming on the collar, briefly remembering how he slipped it off Shizuka's bloody corpse in the morgue, knowing that it wouldn't be missed by its owner. Getting the blood stains was harder than he thought, but at least it was black and wouldn't show as much.

It would be his punishment-to wear the clothes his best friend wore when she killed herself over him. So he would never forget his mistake.

His sin.

They walked over to the edge of the building, Izaya watching her every move. She looked scared as she approached the edge, trying to be confident in her choice but failing miserably. She looked to him for support and he just smiled, "C'mon, the quicker the better...death should be better than the lives we have now right?" She nodded barely, looking over the edge and gulping, breaking out in a cold sweat.

He pushed her.

**Miyako918** barely had time to gasp before she was plummeting to her death, wind whiping around her face as she opened her mouth to scream in horror. Izaya turned back to the stairwell and ran down faster than a human could see-it probably looked like he disappeared from thin air on the rooftop. He slipped into Shizuka's empty apartment, well-actually it was his apartment bought in Shiki's name. The yakuza didn't need to ask why Izaya requested that the older male buy him the apartment that his dead best friend had formerly lived in. But then again Shiki never sometimes wondered what went through the older man's head, but that was something to think of another time.

He could see from the doorway, since there was no furniture whatsoever in the apartment, the netting trembling in the wind and from the person resting in it safely. He smirked and trotted over to the window and opened it, poking out his head to look down at **Miyako918** who lay in the netting looking up at him like she had pissed herself in fear. From what he could smell with S-0983 she most certainly had.

"Y-You caught me? You didn't even jump with me! What the hell **Sakuraya87**!?" She was crying now, half of fear and and half of anger. Izaya tilted his head, "Of course not, I'm not the one learning a lesson."

"Wha-"

"You screamed. You didn't really want to die."

**Miyako918** looked up at him incredulously, not believing her own ears.

"Y-You planned this?"

"Of course, you are my first student. Be thankful I found you online when I did. I saved your parents the trouble and pain of burying they're only child." The girl winced, obviously having not taken her parents into consideration when she chose to off herself.

"You see, no one really ever wants to kill themselves. They only think they do. Dying is actually a lot worse than living, I assure you. Your life is going to continue to move forward, and whatever pain you're going through will eventually leave you. Of course, you don't have to let it pass by without learning from it. For one thing, I at least hope you've learned to choose your friends more wisely. And about you being overweight and teased by your classmates, you're fucking gorgeous-your classmates are all just hormonally imbalance. Everyone is at this age. Putting you down is their way of making themselves feel better. In all honesty I think you should pity them, they're probably going through a lot worse than you. For example, the girl who bullies you at lunch, Misaki Koyofuyo?-her father sexually abuses her and her mother is an alchoholic. She's only trying to make you feel worse than her so she doesn't feel like the lowest piece of dirt on the planet."

The raven haired girl open and closed her mouth like a fish, "H-How do you know about Misaki's parents?"

Izaya smiled coyly, "How do I know that you're strong enough to get passed this whole thing and move on with your life? I've lived it before, and I've survived it. Now. Are you going to try to kill yourself again?"

The girl shook her head furiously.

"Good. Now just wait a second and I'll get you inside safely."

_Shizuka...this is my way of thanking you for being there for me...even though I was never able to be there for you in return..._

* * *

Ya like? God my hands are aching and I think I'm getting sick...OMG I MISS EUROPE! :{


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